Wedding planning is certainly something Loki never thought he would participate in for himself, that is for certain. There were times when he’d thought perhaps he would be involved in planning Thor’s wedding. He is definitely more the type to do these sorts of things, and not only because he was the first prince of Asgard and it was expected of him. But his own wedding? It wasn’t until much more recently that Loki considered he could ever have anything like this, but all those doubts had gone away the moment he’d come face to face with Natasha this night. It is like his entire life fell into place, everything he’s done over the last few hundred years to keep the multiverse safe and thriving and culminated in this moment. When they fully and truly became one.
He’s never been more excited for his future and all it will entail with her by his side.
“Yes, that is precisely it. It is personal and for us to be fully joined.” Their personal vows are something Loki believes to be entirely intimate and meant just for them, and as she mentioned, the fathers and mothers of time. Having others present for that part felt akin to others witnessing them make love. Of course, he has no issues with sex in public, but sex and making love were not the same thing to him. One is a (rather enjoyable under the right circumstances) kink and the other is private and personal. “So, we shall handfast and have our personal vows, do our marking, have our first night as a married couple together and then hold something for our families separately. Perhaps the next night?”
Really, the sooner the better. Loki already feels like they are paired, but he knows how much stronger their connection will be once they have performed these ceremonies. It is something he can feel deep inside, something he knows will complete them, make them stronger both together and apart.
“I do believe I would like to be surprised. The marks I have a few ideas on. I do not believe they need to be the same mark, but if we happen to find something that suits us both, I am not against it. I have a number of symbols that represent me that I would like to see on you and I would gladly wear your mark if you have something similar.”
It is much the same with Natasha. She was certain by now that she'd never find a person that would suit her to the point of marriage. Maybe it was a thing she desired in her long lost childhood, and even occasionally as she lay in her tiny bed in the Red Room, dreaming of someone to take her away. She'd survived it all, and now fate had found enough kindness to bless her with this amazing union. Even as she made these plans they felt a bit surreal. It wouldn't settle until the moment it actually happened, and the runes were marked into her skin, the words said between them.
This was to be very private and Natasha loved that idea. She knew that nature would bless this union and that was all that she needed. There were words that she found, old vows that she'd found that she wanted to tweak to suit them that she would use, she thought. They were very fitting for how she felt, and adding personal touch to how they were written would be perfect.
"I was thinking we might take a short holiday to further get to know one another before we get the rest of the world in. Most of the people we know take more than two days notice to drop everything for a wedding. Maybe a couple weeks for them, and that will give us time to also design a get together for the short list of people we want. Unless you're set on having it the day after tomorrow."
It's easy to understand wanting his family to be privy to their marriage and union, but it often takes time to get people together and not everyone would be available right away. It would take time to pick foods and drink, another gown, and a formal ceremony with someone who is registered to perform it and make it legal and binding in a court of law somewhere-- not that they needed it, but the universe is often demanding of such things.
Scrolling through various marks online, Natasha finds several spiders, her obvious trademark. Then she comes across something uniquely different. It's a tree that speaks to her. She's not even quite sure exactly why, but it stands out. Her and Loki haven't spoken much about his role in the multiverse, but she knows about his part in time, but not about the tree, or even how it works. They've not gone into any details. Still, this captures her. Maybe it's a part of the way their love works, and how they are tied together now. Their thoughts and minds bound in a way that's still not fully understood yet. "This. This speaks to me, what do you think. I don't even know why, but it's beautiful."
Typically Loki is known for wanting to be the center of attention, for putting on a real display, but that has always just been part of the act. Sure, he does enjoy attention sometimes, and he is rather theatrical, but there have been just as many times that he wishes to go unnoticed. Sometimes that had been purely for practicalities sake when trying to pull off a prank, but sometimes he wishes to be more private. Alone even, though now he has someone to be private with. Someone who truly understands him and knows him and loves him despite all his many faults. He could easily pull fully from the spotlight now, so long as he still has Natasha by his side.
Though he has not thought of specific vows as of yet, Loki really does like to fly by the seat of his pants, he already knows the message he wishes to convey to her concerning vows. He believes it will not take him long to set those feelings to proper words. Everything seems to come so easily to him when he thinks of Natasha and the life they will have together.
“As far as I am concerned, weeks is fine for our friends and family to wait. I already know that I am yours and you are mine. Our personal and private ceremony I would like sooner, but a holiday in between sounds wonderful.” More time to spend alone with Natasha? He hardly needs convincing. After all, though he very much wants some people to be their witnesses, that part is truly the part that can wait. “Do you have anywhere or any-when you were thinking of? I could think of a few options, of course. I have seen so many beautiful places recently that I think you might enjoy.”
Loki looks at the screen and the moment he sees the image his breath catches in his throat. He can only stare for a moment, taking it in and trying to get his emotions under control because it’s perfect. Of course it’s perfect. Suddenly every idea he’d had before flies from his mind and he thinks perhaps they should have matching marks. He blinks some tears from his eyes, even as he grins widely and turns to kiss her fully. “It is absolutely perfect.”
While Natasha has been planning for this ceremony, she's done a little bit of thinking about how she'd like the larger one to be. She would like to play off of similar themes. She really does like the natural bent that this will take, and they can do it on a larger scale. There are plenty of examples of it being done. She has a feeling that it might be nice for his family to enjoy. She'll wear something slightly more proper for that exchange, and it will be a lovely evening for everyone involved. It will take a little bit more planning and she doesn't want to spend time now doing it. She's far too excited about her upcoming vows with Loki in their private hideaway to do anything more.
"I still want our ceremony tomorrow, as long as you're okay with that. I don't want to wait another day. I have made sure that I can get my dress, and that's the main concern that I have. The rest is magic, words, blood and us. We will be bound tomorrow, not that we aren't already, but it will be our ceremony tomorrow." She set the computer aside for a moment so that she could nuzzle down in the bed with him. It was too hard to sit up, while he lay there beside him. She wanted to feel his body against hers again. It was like she could only go for so long without being close, without touching him in a more complete fashion. It was only another sign of how truly they completed one another. How they were made for one another.
"I'm glad you like that mark. I saw it and knew for some reason. I don't know how I did, or what it meant. I only knew that it was meant for both of us." She ran her fingers over his face, slowly tracing his features. He was absolutely perfect. She'd never met another person who looked so handsome, or unique as he did. There was darkness and light, a combination that matched her own and made her heart sing as it did. "Tell me about it"
Just the fact that she is already considering his family and what they might want is another reason why he loves her so much. Not that he expects she wouldn’t consider all involved in such an event, but he’s also still not quite used to someone considering him at all. Really, there has only ever been Mobius who he felt had thought of his feelings and even that had taken some time. With Natasha, it all feels so natural. There has been no need for convincing or proving himself. She just knows and believes. And Loki feels honoured to have such trust.
She is right though. The planning for all of that can wait. There are much more important things to work out first, namely their private vow exchange. He is excited to show his family and friends his new wife, but making her his wife is his top priority.
“The sooner the better, my love. Truly, if I did not feel the need to make it perfect and set up everything we wish, I would marrying you this instant. I only wish to make it everything we both want. It is our celebration of us and we deserve nothing but the best.” He smiles as she goes over everything she has already managed to work out. It’s good that she’s so capable of organization because as much as Loki is into this, his planning skills can sometimes fall by the wayside as he gets distracted by things like his love for her. “Can I just say that you are very much impressing me right now. Your planning skills are bar none.”
He smiles as she puts the computer away and lays down with him. He pulls her close, breathing in her scent again as he wraps his arms around her, holding her to his body. It’s starting to feel like he’s missing a limb if she’s not close enough, though he suspect with the branding, that will ease a bit. It will be like they have each other with them at all times then.
“It is absolutely perfect. You will understand better when you see it for yourself, but my position aiding the welfare of the multiverse looks just like this. It is like putting my whole purpose into a mark that will be just for us because it is us.”
All of her considerations revolve around him. He is her groom, and her life to come. Her king and partner over all time and life as it ebbs and flows. She may not understand how it works, but already she feels a part of it through their bond. It's like a part of him is already moving through her, and she knows that it will only grow when they make their partnership official tomorrow. It's thrilling, and Natasha can hardly contain herself at the thought. If she could move time forward, she might do just that, however letting it flow and giving them the time to bond through the night into the morning is just as well.
It will be nice to spend the time getting ready for him, and making herself the perfect bride. While she knows that she could show up naked and disheveled and he would love her the same, Natasha wants to look perfect for their vows. She's already thought of adding hair so that she can do a complicated set of braids, perhaps to go with her perfect gown. It's all been thought of. He's right, she loves to plan. It's a part of who she is, who she was trained to be and has been woven into her very core. She's lucky that he's allowed her such free reign over everything.
"I would wind time forward if I didn't want everything to be absolutely perfect, but I am also enjoying this night with you. I think that all our time together getting to know one another is important as well. We have our life, but I want to know so much already. I know it isn't easy, but I already feel like I'm a part of you in some way. I know that it's a part of what's put us together this way, made us and this love so strong so easily."
Natasha isn't certain that she'll ever get enough of being close to him, with the branding or not, but maybe with time her constant need to touch and be gathered in his arms will die down some. Breathing in the same air he exhales, she nuzzles against his nose gently. "I like to plan, and I'm thankful that you've allowed me to do all this. If you ever want more of a say, let me know. Otherwise, I'll be picking out everything for our bigger wedding, and have you all trussed up as well." She laughs softly. Although, she does have an eye on something he could wear for their future wedding. She doesn't care about tomorrow, that's for him to figure out. Unless he asks expressly.
Leaning in, she presses her lips to his and sighs. "I only knew it was perfect. I'm glad I found it then. It will be our mark on one another, our future, our purpose. You are so amazing, my love. I'm so proud of who you are and all you've become and done. You've come such a long way, and I can't wait to hear the tale. I feel so close to you and i know that tomorrow will only bring us closer."
For so much of Loki’s life he wanted to feel like he was loved, respected. That is exactly what he feels he has now with Natasha. It’s like a piece of him had been missing until they had finally come together in the right place and time. He wonders how things might have been had they been given this chance sooner, but Loki isn’t naive and understands that things might not have worked out the same if that had happened. With all the different variations in the multiverse, likely it has happened in some form, but it would not be such as they are now. They both needed to be at a certain place in their development for this union to have come together in this perfect combination.
She’s right, he’ll always think she looks perfect. He can’t fathom a way in which he wouldn’t consider her the most beautiful and wonderful person he’s ever been so lucky to meet. And that she feels the same for him is truly astounding. He’ll do anything to make her happy, including letting her plan every last detail of their ceremony. And really, Loki does like to dress up himself. He is pretty sure he knows what he will be wearing as well and they will make the most dashing couple.
“There really is something about anticipation as well, is there not? I am very much enjoying discussing all this with you, looking forward to how special it will all be. I am sure it will be perfect because how could anything for use be anything less?” The whole thing could go wrong, everything could fall apart, but so long as they were marked and spoke their vows, to Loki it would be perfect. “Just the opportunity to have you like this in my life has made this the best night of my life, and I know things are only looking to get better with each and every subsequent night.”
Don’t get him wrong, Loki doesn’t think he’ll ever tire of touching her or being touched in return. There is something fully addictive about all of this, but he also believes that it will not feel so… painful if they are to separate with the brand. Right now, even the idea of being separated for even the smallest amount of time leaves an aching feeling in his chest. Right now though, he doesn’t need to worry about that as she nuzzles him. He chuckles in return, nuzzling her back. “Honestly, I am happy to let you plan everything. I do like to be involved enough to see our options, but so far everything you have picked out has been perfect. I trust you implicitly.”
Natasha’s words bring a tear to his eye and he cannot stop smiling even as she kisses him. Her finding that exact design is clearly just another sign of how they were meant to be, her words only adding to the perfection. “Only you could leave me with a loss for words,” he whispers against her ear. “I feel the same for you. How you have managed to be so strong and intelligent and caring after all you have faced is something I truly admire in you. I could not love anyone more.”
"The anticipation is driving my stomach nuts right now, but it's a good type of nuts.." She laughs softly and leans in to kiss him, which seems to be one of the ways to calm the nerves that want to fly around her insides and tie them all up in knots. It would be a beautiful shiburi design she's sure if it were only tied up on the outside, but sadly all the red ropes and lovely knots were wound up inside her as they anticipated the ceremony that would join her to the love of her lifetime.
Extending the kiss into something deeper, Natasha takes her time with it. It's like every single time she runs her tongue through Loki's mouth, there's a new depth, new flavor to him. He's full of life, and hidden things, velvety richness, dark chocolate covered cherries, and a swirl of brandy by candlelight. Her legs slide along his while they kiss, body unable to accept anything but the ultimate in closeness. It is painful to love this deeply, to need this fully. It's a thirst that won't be quenched, an ache that can't be filled. Breaking the kiss, she moans softly. "I don't think I shall ever grow tired of being a part of you. This is what I've been missing my whole life and I have no idea how I didn't even realize it." Her lips graze over his chin and down his throat.
"Thank you for trusting me, for loving me enough for this. I want to share everything with you. I couldn't imagine doing any of this without you, preparing our lives together is a thing I want to do with you, every single step. I trust you with my all as well, and if you were to take over I'd feel perfectly safe in knowing that no matter what happened would be perfect because what matters most, is us. You and me." Natasha ran her hands over his shoulder, and down his side, cupping his ass. Her fingers gripped at it tightly, holding him close to her.
"You are the only one that could love me like this. I only know part of your life, I can't wait for you to tell me more. Tell me love, how did you start your journey between here and there? What more should I know before we wed?" Her words are almost breathless, but she's trying to distract herself, to keep herself from engaging in other activities just yet. They have so much more to talk about and she really does want to learn more.
“I do hope it is good.” He huffs out a laugh. He knows what she means though. It feels as though there are a thousand butterflies flying around inside him. It’s not like he’s never been nervous or excited before, but this feels different, bigger and just more. Loki has never been more excited for anything in his life. Just knowing that by tomorrow at this time they will be joined for all eternity is overwhelming, but in the best possible way. Still, he wants to tease her a bit. “Are you sure you haven’t changed your mind? Realized you are too good for me?”
But then she kisses him and he can’t help but melt into it. His lips move slowly against hers, opening up to her so they can taste each other. Loki moves in closer, wrapping his arms around her more tightly so they are flush together as the kiss deepens. It’s like he’s addicted to her, like he can’t possibly imagine ever not having her around again and the only way to keep her is to keep her as close as possible. She feels soft and pliant against him, as if they mesh together perfectly, and he supposes that is the truth. There is no one else for him, and he plans on spending the rest of time showing her exactly how much she means to him.
“Sometimes these things are not for us to know right away. We need to be at certain points in our development before the truly important relationships can develop correctly. If we had come together at any other point in time, it might not have worked and that is not a world I wish to experience.” His head tilts back as he feels her lips on his throat and he sighs happily, a smile on his face.
“I think for us it is best that we do all these things together. We each have our strengths and putting those together will surely create the greatest celebration of a union anyone might ever see, even the parts meant only for us.” So far, he believes they are doing a fine job of it as well. Her style and wants for the ceremony fit his own perfectly, and really, he wants nothing more than for her to have her dream wedding.
If anything, Loki understands the need for distraction, and yet he does nothing but moan and gently kiss her neck for a moment when she grabs his ass. “Well,” he starts, speaking between gentle kisses. “It all started for me when I noticed something strange happen as I was being taken away after you stopped my attack on New York City. It seems some of the Avengers had travelled in time, and as luck would have it, the result ended up with the Tesseract simply lying at my feet, ripe for the taking.”
At his question about changing her mind, she laughs and reaches over to tug at his hair playfully. There's no world in which she could ever change her mind about him, or the way she loves him, madly, truly, deeply. "I hardly think so. I think you're the one that might have evolved beyond me, my love. I could never love anyone more. You are the one I want to wed and spend all my life with, our eternity together." She says the word like she can actually fathom what it means, but it's nothing a human whose life has been so limited until now can even begin to wrap her head around. For now, she'll take each day as it comes and it looks like the rest of them will be wrapped up together with Loki, and that's the best feeling ever.
While she knows and they have already talked about them meeting at the right time for the both of them. It still feels so remarkable that their fates twisted up to put them together here and now. It had been such a crazy time. They've been working so hard to prepare for Thanos, and what's to come. Yet now she has a higher calling. It's not something that she can rightly fathom. A part of her knows that she still has a part to play in her world, but she's not exactly sure how that will work, as she moves on to become a guardian of time with Loki. It is something they can talk about later.
Rubbing her fingers over his ass, she enjoys the way it feels and knows that one day soon she wants to enjoy it fully the way he enjoyed hers. It's another thing to talk about. "Time travel, huh. I wonder why we were doing that. It must be a thing from the future, because I'm certain I would have been alerted, or would have cracked into the Avenger's database and seen it." She doesn't let it bother her at all. She knows that he's seen time in various forms, so if there's a variation of what happens, it's a twist she looks forward to. "So, back at the old tesseract arrest, huh? What did you do with it just laying there. You picked it up, didn't you. That's what I would have done." It's the smartest move. Getting the fuck out of there with the tesseract. "You're such a wonderful little snake." She kisses him on the nose, knowing he's full of trouble, as he is everything else. "That's a different story from the one we know...Huh. So, is that how you broke time, or whatever it was you did? or I guess we broke time, cause we messed it up and put it at your feet, didn't we."
His laugh is soft but honest as she pulls at his hair. He truly loves this, how well they get on together. It is proving even more that this is more than just physical. When he really thinks about it, this is everything he’s always wanted. Someone he could lay around with, cuddle and joke and just talk. He’s never felt like he’s had someone he could trust this way before, but it’s like second nature when it comes to Natasha. “I cannot express how happy I am that you wish to spend eternity with me. It is not an easy thing to accept, but I will be forever grateful for your company.” As much as he knew that his job was necessary, and how he has always known it is what he must do, the loneliness is hard to contend with. But that is no longer a problem, not now he has the most wonderful woman in existence by his side.
And truly, Loki knows just how important Natasha is in hers and many timelines. He has no intention of keeping her from those duties. Simply because the multiverse exists and she will now help guard it with him does not mean she has nothing to wrap up in her own world. He also knows what awaits her, but that is not his story to tell. What he does know is that what will appear like an end to her friends and family will be just the beginning for her. However that happens in her timeline, it doesn’t matter. She will come home to him, always. But he will not further influence her decisions. Even with their souls tied together, she is still her own person and will always be.
The way she touches him makes him grin. He’s having the same thoughts as she is and he is very interested. It might be something for another time, but that doesn’t stop Loki from pushing his ass back into her hand.
“I am sure you will find out what was happening, but I am not one for spoilers.” He’s only partially joking, of course, but he still doesn’t plan on telling her anything of her own future in detail. It’s not his job to affect timelines, only to make sure they have the chance to survive. “And yes, of course I picked it up. I was still very much the villain you knew me as at that point, even if the effects of the mind stone had left me. I was thinking much more clearly, but that does not mean I would not take a chance to get away from the fate I figured was coming.” He grins at the kiss and laughs slightly. “Yes, that was my nexus event, though apparently, what the Avengers did was not considered the breaking of time. In how things worked at the time, it was supposed to happen. I was just not supposed to escape. Winning was not what I was meant to do. At least then.”
It's true that their personalities really do compliment one another. There's nothing more that Natasha would like better than to sit around talking and making love to Loki for an eternity. He's playful and they have the most wonderful time teasing one another. She doesn't quite understand the width and breath of what he does yet-- but she gathers that he is eternal and she will be as well. Somehow they will watch over time, watch the people of the world. It's nothing she understands yet. She hasn't even heard of the time bureau yet or the time keepers, but she will. People watching has been her job so far in life, and it will certainly be an important one for as long as she continues.
"I am looking forward to what this life together brings us. You are the only person I could ever see spending my eternity with." She's honest and forthcoming. There's an openness in her eyes for him that she's never had with another soul. Perhaps her world was what she cherished before, but she is willing to let go of that path now and seek the one that they have together. She imagines that her timeline probably took a branch the day they made love. She might ask him about it when they make it around to such a topic again. Certainly this wasn't where her life was supposed to go, how her death and future are predicted. Wouldn't that make her a variant as well now? She doesn't quite know how it all works, but she will learn. She's pretty quick at it.
As they talk, her hands wander, the hand on his ass continues to play. When he pushes against her palm, she has no qualms about teasing him further. Her finger is dry and so it can't do much, but she does part his cheeks and run it along the line of them. She pauses at his entrance, and lets it dimple inward briefly. There aren't many men who enjoy such things, but with the way he reacted-- her testing is casual and easy. He can certainly pull away if he wishes.
"I'm sure, but I have a feeling that what we've done already creates a gap." She postulates, not worrying about any future of hers, because she knows that she is safe with Loki as it is. "I did say you were a snake, didn't I." She says with love in her voice, because whoever he was, she's been there too. "Who wants to be arrested, I mean, really. Nexus event. That's a new term. I'll remember it. You start to turn things around, at least from what Thor says. I mean, it's enough that I made the choice to talk to you, to approach you and look what happened. I found an entirely different you. I didn't even know." She leans in to kiss him softly, and then pulls back. "So, where did you go after that? What happened, that's the exciting part of all this, yes?"
There of course will be time for those days. Days when they do nothing but spend time with each other, days when they never leave bed and do nothing but talk and laugh and make love. But the rest of the time he is actually looking forward to showing her, to telling her all about the TVA and how everything works. For the first time since his ascension, he feels proud of what he does without the crushing blow of loneliness he thought he was going to have to endure for the rest of time itself. Now he looks forward to everything they will do together, everything they will accomplish.
“And I am looking forward to showing you everything. Having you by my side is nothing short of a miracle and together we will preserve all life. I could not see doing this with anyone else.” She is correct about that. Their unification has definitely caused a new branch. One where it is possible that she will not go back to be the sacrifice for the soul stone. Of course, if she wishes to fulfil that destiny, Loki will not stop her. Rather she would simply come to him after her death on the timeline. Otherwise, that branch will do as all others do and find another way to survive. And really he wouldn’t be adverse to helping it along to make sure their mission is still successful.
The last thing he wants to do is pull away. Personally, he disagrees that most men wouldn’t enjoy such treatment. Rather he believes they are afraid of what it might mean to their fragile egos. Of course, he understands that not everyone likes everything when it comes to such personal things, but not liking simply because of being male… well that is expressed by men who have yet to find their prostates.
He blinks slowly and hums as she tests him, his breath coming out in slow pants as he tries to keep his mind on the conversation. He’d be lying though if he said the test wasn’t turning him on. He does nothing more than rock back against her hand again, still attempting to keep things casual.
“You are not wrong, but it is not anything that will cause issues, not anymore.” He grins at the snake comment and presses a kiss to her cheek. “And yes. I suppose it is not just my brother who has an affinity for snakes. Nexus event is the term for when a person makes a decision that causes a branch big enough on the timeline that a whole new timeline comes into existence. My purpose was to be arrested and taken to Asgard, when I did not do that, I was arrested by a completely different authority. But I will get to that in a moment. Thor is correct. It took quite some time and for much to happen, but in the natural course of things, I did redeem myself. I am simply not a version of me that experienced that specific course of events. I am aware of them though.”
“Oh, and do remind me to thank my brother for that. If it is because of his words that you spoke with me, then he played no small part in bringing us together.”
There's no more life that she wishes for herself beyond what they are creating together. Natasha will be content to allow whatever happens with the rest of her time to be done by whatever person follows after her wedding with Loki. She still has no true understanding of how exactly it works, but she assumes that it will for the pair of them. They will break into a line and exchange their vows and then exit to live the rest of their lives together. She can watch her fated existence in the same manner this Loki has.
The night continues to play on as they talk and love, ever growing closer to the sunrise of a new day-- their day. One that both of them will forever hold in memorandum. It gives Natasha even more reason to want to be close to Loki in every way possible, even if she's only toying with him now. It places in her mind limits of things that might happen between them in the future. She wants to be everything he needs and wants in the bedroom, and while she can't change her gender, she can certainly pleasure him to the best of her ability.
"You are so hot. God." She can't help herself when he pushes back against her finger. It makes her own heart jump in her chest and a new fire spark below. She can ignore it, but it's hard with their legs so tangled together and their bodies so close. "I'm glad that we won't create any issues. I would hate to have to worry about us causing problems for you back at where you are now. No matter who you are, or what happened to you, you are the man I love, the heart I adore. I can feel it and all that you are so much deeper than I've ever felt another person. So, whether you lived that life or another one. I'm glad that it brought us together."
She laughed softly. "We can thank him at the wedding, together." She nuzzled against him, and pressed her lips softly against his. "So, after you were taken away what happened. Who took you?"
If that is what she truly desires, then it is what she shall have. Loki now has two purposes in life, to maintain the timelines and to treat Natasha with all the love and adoration she deserves. Together, he knows they will not only keep everything running smoothly, but they will also improve on how everything works. With her, he knows they can accomplish anything and he is looking forward to it all.
Really, he couldn’t ask for anything more. Just that they can do this. Lie around in each other’s arms, talking about the future, their future, laughing and loving and simply being together. Until that night when he’d decided to message her, wanting her to know that he is sorry for the things he did in their shared past, he’d been almost desperate for some companionship. He has some contact with the TVA, but with Mobius’ retirement, he hasn’t felt overly close to anyone there. He is happy for his friend, but he also misses having someone to talk to. Or rather he missed, past tense, but Natasha is that for him now and so much more.
He really could never thank her enough, or show her just how much he truly cares for her.
She truly does not have to worry about not pleasing him physically. He can’t imagine being more satisfied than he already is in her bed. The fact that she is willing to do more only proves that point. Even if she is not interested in trying such things with him, how they have been with each other this night alone is proof enough that she is everything he will ever need. When it comes down to it, Loki falls in love with people, not their gender.
Loki chuckles lightly and presses his face into the pillow. He’s not unaware that some find him attractive, but he’s unsure anyone has said it quite so bluntly to his face before. He absolutely adores it. “No,” he says, turning his face back to look at her again. “There is nothing to worry about at all, my love. I cannot tell you how happy I am to hear you say all of that. I have worked very hard to improve myself and to know that I might be worthy of you has brought me to new heights. I have never felt so connected to anyone before. That you feel the same is more than I ever could’ve hoped for.”
“I’m sure he will be delighted to hear it.” Thor always was a bit of a romantic. Loki savours their kiss some before continuing. “I was taken by the Time Variance Authority, or more simply, the TVA. They are an organization that exists outside of time and at that point their purpose was to maintain what they called the Sacred Timeline. Essentially, there was no multiverse because they prevented the main timeline from branching off into new possibilities. They were all under the impression that this was necessary to prevent a multiversal war. Anyone who did something to cause a branch, a nexus point, were rounded up and brought in. As you can imagine, me escaping Thor’s custody was a pretty large deviation.”
It's a wonder that she could be here talking about a future with anyone, and she can't wait to be an actual part of that future much longer. She can't wait to see what challenges await them, what will be in store for them as they grow and change in the future. Knowing that he will take his time to love her and put her as a priority in his life when he is the overseer of so incredibly much tells Natasha more than she needs to know about him. It makes her heart soar, and it makes her feel even more special than she ever thought she could be to another person once more.
Watching Loki press his face into the pillow makes Natasha laugh softly with him. He's so beautiful, and maybe he knows a part of it, but because she's fallen so deeply for him it only makes him that much more attractive to her. There is not another male or female out there that will ever compare to the star that he is in her sky. Nuzzling against his shoulder, his neck, she curls under his chin and inhales deeply, breathing Loki in and making him the very air she needed to survive. He was her salvation, her world, inside and out and there was nothing that would change that. "You are so much to me, and I still keep wanting to pinch myself to make sure all this is real. I mean, morning can't come soon enough. I need to be bound to you already."
Sighing softly, she lifted her head so she could look at him, taking in all the closeness implied by the way they kiss one another. She laughed again, shaking her head. "You caused a hell of a ruckus with that I'm sure. So they arrested you? I mean, if that's what they do. Does it happen a lot? Do people screw up the timeline a lot? I know we are, but wow.. I never thought about it..."
If there was one thing that Loki has learned is that life in and of itself is a wonder. It takes such a strange course of events to cause certain things together. Loki has seen many versions of himself now and most of them were not as lucky as he has been. Of course, most of them did not attempt any sort of redemption or salvation as he did. He doesn’t know if that makes him any better or worse, but it is definitely an example of how anything can happen. He also knows that if anyone is up to handling things like that by his side, it is Natasha. She has done nothing but prove that in her time on the Sacred Timeline, and if he’s honest, all the timelines she exists in. It is truly and honour and a privilege that she would devote her time to him and he is not about to take her for granted.
He doesn’t know about being beautiful, especially next to someone as exquisite as she is. Again, he’s aware that some find him attractive, but to him beauty is so much more than looks. Natasha isn’t just gorgeous to look at, she’s beautiful inside. Loki is aware that she might not know that based on some of her history, but he’ll make it one of his goals to show her just how beautiful she is. He knows just how much she has devoted to making things better in her world, how much she has done for friends and family and really, her universe at large. She is truly an outstanding person that he could not be any less proud of.
As she curls into him, he shifts and wraps an arm around her, holding her close. He feels so at peace in her arms, and he knows that she will always be home to him. No matter what their future may hold, she will be his constant. “I feel the same, my love. I almost wish I felt tired so we could pass the time more quickly by sleeping, but I feel more energized than ever before. I am a buzz with excitement and how much I love you.”
Turning with her as she shifts, Loki smiles at her in return. “Yes, they arrested me. And it is what they did at the time. It was a fairly common occurrence, though it was more common for certain types. As you can imagine, someone like myself is more apt to go against the grain, as it were. I met plenty of my own variants, but I imagine you would not be surprised that I did not see a single Steve Rogers.”
Laying next to him, Natasha wishes she could wind time in a ball and toss it into the wind so that it would be morning already and they would be one in an even closer manner than they were now. All the plans have stirred into motion so many thrilling feelings and she's never felt more alive, even during combat. That's something that she's never been able to say before and here she is able to admit to the fact that love is truly the most powerful force in the universe.
Pressing her breasts against his chest, she finds comfort in the hardness of his body and in the way he's sculpted against her curves. Their legs curve together perfectly, and she knows that they will always match together in every other aspect as well. No matter what they do, it will always be this way. "I'm sure if we get bored, we'll manage to make it pass more quickly. I have my stories, but somehow I have this feeling that you know them. At least most of my barriers are gone. You've melted them all away." She kissed along the edges of his lips, and then down along his chin and across his chest where she'd been resting her head. He was beautiful because she loved him, and in her eye that was all that mattered. He could have been an ogre and she still would have found him as beautiful as a golden sun.
She laughed against his skin. "Steve. I bet he might have changed a few timelines after he went after Peggy. I still think there has to be at least one where he didn't leave Bucky." She always wondered if he would have stayed if Bucky asked him to. They had done so much for one another, and their friendship was sometimes beyond that of two friends, platonic soulmates she often thought of them. "Not that it matters. So, you were a wild and crazy thing, and had a thrilling ride through the timelines? Meeting yourself? That had to be awkward."
There’s a small part of Loki that wants to break his own rules and just walk them through a timedoor to the next morning, but that could cause a whole host of problems, not the least of them being getting the attention of B-15. He really appreciates all the former hunter does for the TVA, but he also doesn’t want to annoy her. No one should ever want to annoy her. And Loki doesn’t want to do anything to jeopardize his and Natasha’s plans. If that means waiting a few hours, then that’s what they would do.
He sighs, contented as he feels her press against him. There truly is no better feeling that lying there with her, entwined and relaxed as they talk of their plans and their future together. “I cannot imagine being bored with you around, but I do imagine there are ways to make the time pass more quickly.” Plenty of fun and interesting ways, he’s quite sure. “I do know your stories, but I do not know them from your perspective. I would love to hear your thoughts on anything you wish to tell me about.” It wasn’t the same, seeing something from a distance and getting someone’s personal view. He also thinks that it would help him know her even better, if that is even possible.
“You would think so, but apparently all of that was ‘supposed’ to happen.” The quotes are practically audible in his tone. Mostly Loki has let his issues with He Who Remained go, but it still bothers him just a little bit that the Avengers were allowed certain concessions that others were not. But that is why he does what he does. So that everyone has the same options and opportunities without the threat of a multiversal war. “Oh, there are plenty now where he doesn’t leave Bucky. Sometimes they simply remain friends, others where they are more. It is quite interesting. Plenty I had not expected from the Captain. I was glad to find he has so much more going on inside him that it appears on the outside. He laughs then and nods. “It was more frustrating than awkward. I really did not know how annoying I can be.”
Breaking rules is unequivocally the easiest thing in the world to do, and they've both done it too many times in their lives and know far too well the devil is in the details and the details all go to hell when the rules end up broken. Things never quite end up how things are meant to when the laws of the universe are broken, unless for some fated reason they're meant to be. Then there are surprises in store-- but usually there are a LOT of things that must be resolved before then. Natasha already learned that over and over in her life, and her death would be the ultimate resolve to all the guilt and weight that she carried if she'd never met Loki like this and departed from her time line.
In this direction, he was the match to her soul and somehow lifted her from the mire of her life. He allowed her to see that she could move beyond that without dying a death for the universe. She found a purpose and meaning that would allow her to remove all that sticky red business from her ledger within him, and he filled her without a second thought. Already within him, she felt more pure than she had ever found herself feeling before. Maybe it was because they'd both been through it, and they were perfect for one another. Their bodies knew it and their love did, because it would encompass so much.
"Then I will start from the beginning. My father gave me away to the Red Room, sold me rather so that I could train to become a soviet spy, a super soviet spy. They took advantage of me in every way imaginable. They used my body, my mind, and my preyed on my emotions. I became the ultimate actor, seductress, and killer from a young age. They used their equipment to give me false memories, some I still have here in my brain. I know how to dance like a ballerina, although I never was one. They killed my mother for the simple act of looking for me." She moved against him, finding it easier to tell the story if he was even more flush against her body, as if they could be any closer. Maybe it would be easier if he was already inside her. Running her body against his, Nat sighed softly.
"And you, you broke time and then put it back together again? Did you almost destroy the world while you were fixing it. I know you had to have gotten in trouble once you got to the time agency. That's the only way any one could ever reform you the way they have." Natasha was carefully wise, and brushed her fingers through his hair, laughing a little when he mentioned how annoying he could be. "We can all be annoying when we choose to, my love."
Breaking the rules could be fun. If anyone knew that, it was definitely Loki. But what breaking the rules never did was get you what you wanted or needed. Breaking the rules was something fun for kids. Sneaking out after curfew, drinking before you were allowed, skipping class. In general, rather harmless and let you have a little fun. What didn’t work was breaking rules for the important things. That is a lesson that is much harder to learn, and he’s sure both he and Natasha caused a lot of issues while they did so.
But they had, and as a result, they had both learned and grown and now they got to impart their wisdom on the whole multiverse, even if most people never knew what they did for them. Loki didn’t need that kind of recognition anymore and he suspects that Natasha never did.
What he does suspect though, is that they both were good people underneath it all and always had been. He has just as much red in his ledger as she does, they only came about it differently. In fact, he thinks she has always been a much better person than he has been. A lot of what brought the red for Loki was his own spoiled nature. Sure, there had been reasons behind some of his actions. Odin and even Frigga had not been faultless in how Loki had acted, but Loki also now knew how to take responsibility for his own actions. It’s one of the many reasons why he thrives in his current role. It’s finally a chance for him to truly redeem himself.
Something he knows Natasha wants as well, even if he doesn’t think she needs it, not after all she has done for the Earth as an Avenger.
She doesn’t need to ask, he pulls her closer without even thinking about it as she tells her story. He knew the basics, that she was a Russian spy, and had been trained from a very young age, but that her father had sold her, or her mother was killed for trying to find her. Those things Loki had not gone looking for. He was fully capable of seeing the lives of anyone and everyone he knew, but mostly he let everyone keep their privacy, only looking in on his friends every now and then, ostensibly to keep an eye on them, but really because he missed them.
”Is it wrong that I would like to find the right place in time and murder your father for such a crime?” He knows full well that he wouldn’t have Natasha like this if such things had not happened, but he also hates the idea of anyone hurting her. He also has a mind to go blow up a couple of Red Rooms. And not just for her, but for everyone they tortured like that.
Loki laughs then, relaxing again as the topic of their conversation changes back to that of the TVA. “Of course I almost broke time. On more than one occasion really, but really most of my redemption is due to one person. Apparently, all I needed was one person to believe in me. Though I still very much tested him. It also didn’t hurt being taken away from everyone and everything that had me feeling as I did. That separation allowed me to clear my mind and figure out what I actually wanted and believed. Strange how these things work, isn’t it?”
It's good that they were so much more alike than different in many aspects. He might see her in a brighter light than she saw herself, but truly her heart doesn't feel like it would be judged an equal weight against a feather on Anubis's scales. The only reason she'd say that Loki might feel more is because he has the weight of living a far longer life than she has. If she'd been alive so long, she can't imagine the damage one like her might have done. She's still a killer, even if it is done under the guise of 'good'.
Giving it all up to work and somehow maintain the balance of the universe sounds magical to Natasha. It is a way to bring about wonder in her life while relinquishing the bonds that have held her tight for so long.
"My father is long gone, I think. I don't even know his name. He's not a man to me. No one raised me. I have no father. I have no mother, only a sister. My sestrah, Yelena. She is my home in this earth, aside from you. It is okay though. I am certain she will be happy for me. We only spent three years together as a spy family even if she didn't know. I - I was pulled from that life by Barton, that's why he and I were close, why he was so fucking special to me. We had a night in a sewer. I- I knew I felt something for him then, but I knew he wanted a family, and I couldn't ever give him that.
My love changed across time, to that of a best friend, and I knew I'd never truly love as one might deserve anything - that's why you challenged all that, changed all that." She'd already blown up the Red Room as it was, and freed the majority of the widows like her all over the world when she did. It had taken a lot of work, and almost killed her, but she managed with the help of her pseudo-family.
"You could do it if anyone." She nuzzles him, and kisses him softly, cupping his cheek. "I'm so proud of you. So you found your person then? Who is this mysterious person who believed in you? It's a wondrous story for certain."
Perhaps that was what made them such a good team, such good partners, in life and love. They had much in common, yes, but they also could see so much good in the other, and were able to lift each other up, inspire and show them just how good they were. It could only lead to good, at least that’s what Loki thought. It was possible that Natasha living a shorter life changed that balance, but Loki didn’t think so. She was the way she was because of others in her life. Loki had done the things he’d done because he’d been a spoiled brat. Things had not been made better by his parents’ lies, but that didn’t mean he had to act as he had.
Or at least that was how it seemed until he’d found out about Kang’s plan for him. If anyone were truly to blame, it was him. Even if most of his variants had acted much worse, Loki knew that if he’d tried to be better sooner, he just would’ve been found by the TVA much earlier.
“I know. I just hate that someone that should care for you instead caused you such strife.” There, of course, was also the part where Loki has some daddy issues still, but he didn’t think of it like that at the moment. “You are a wonderful person, strong and dedicated. Not just anyone would be able to turn themselves around as you did, even if it did take some help. We all need help sometimes. But to think anyone treated you like that and put you in such a place. It fills me with anger.”
Loki quieted as Natasha spoke of Clint. Guilt filled him as he remembered so clearly how he had used him for his own misdeeds. Even if much of that had been due to the staff and Thanos, Loki knew he’d played his own part there. He’d hardly fought when the Other had found him after his fall from the Bifrost. A true hero would have.
“I am truly sorry for what I did to your friend. I do hope you know that. I hope it does not affect him attending our wedding.” And not just because he wanted everyone who loved Natasha to come celebrate with her, but because he wished to apologize to the man face to face.
Loki held her closer as she asked of Mobius. He did miss his friend dearly. “His name is Mobius and he is the last person you might expect I would be friends with. He appears rather boring, stiff and stuck in his ways, but there is so much more to him. I hope you will be able to meet him soon. I would love to have him stand by my side during our more public ceremony.” Loki would tell her anything and everything about his friend that night. How he was the first person to really believe him and believe in him. In some ways, he had been like a real father to him, but mostly Loki just considered him the best friend anyone could have.
Perhaps that's why love is often interred in infinity symbols, because the heart sees the infinite possibilities in the other person. While Loki saw Natasha's childhood and wanted to raise arms against those who hurt her, and gave credit for the strength she willed to turn her life around, Natasha saw so much the same in the life that Loki lived. He had gone through many feats of endurance, and tragedies that people with hearts far greater might have given up, and given into the darkness that surrounded him, and the temptations of power and magic that was offered.
It was easy to take the cup and drink from it, and while Loki did it here and there, it was often with the driving need to be truly taken seriously, to be loved and noticed as the other members in his family did Thor. Natasha could see his heart now, and knew that there were light and dark in them both and for various reasons. However, the light cast out the seeds of darkness that had been sewn by lesser forces. Their demons played well together, as did their angels.
They fit so perfectly, their eternities were fated to wind together forever in a never ending loop of love, one to see the other as strong and the other there to help protect that what made them so. "I feel so much the same, my love. I dare say that I want to hurt those who cast you aside, who told you that you were anything less than the amazing man that I know you are. You are intelligent, cunning, and wise, even when you wish to ignore it at times." She teased him about the last part with a nose to his cheek. God she loved him.
Stroking her hand along his hip in a dancing circle, Natasha watched her fingers as he spoke of his regrets about Clint. She shook her head. The past was the past, and they both had their fingers in things they'd done wrong. "He will see and know that you are not the same. If I love you like this, he will know and stand at my side the same way your Mobius will stand beside yours."
Natasha had no strong female friends, and she'd rather have Clint at her side in her wedding over anyone else. The story of how Loki came to meet and know Mobius was incredible, and his time spent finding his purpose was terrifying, but also awe inspiring. If Natasha didn't already love him, she grew to love him more. "So, what happened then, in the end? Explain that part to me again? I don't get it all..." It was a little confusing -- the hows and whys of how he exactly saved the universes and ended up governing them all. She also was curious about her part in all this now.
Loki would appreciate such thoughts about him, but he doesn’t think they are warranted. He did give into the power. He had attacked Stuttgart and New York because Thanos had told him he could rule. He had taken the staff to have more power, to control the Chitauri. Though apparently he unknowingly had much of those powers already. He knows now that the staff had affected him, it had made him more susceptible to persuasion, something he had not previously thought possible. But infinity stones out in the world were nothing to trifle with.
He had also given into the darkness the moment he’d let go of the Bifrost bridge, letting the Void take him. He’d believed, in that moment when it had become clear that Odin could never see his side, that he was nothing but a burden to his family and that letting go would be better than the eternity he would spend in the cells of Asgard.
She was right though. Deep down, those were the root causes of his reactions. His desperate need to be as loved and respected as his brother. It had always been a foolish pursuit though, he simply had not known it. Not that it would have mattered at all, not with how the TVA had been running things at the time.
As she speaks of what she sees in him, he can’t help but pull her closer, burying his face in her hair as he feels tears prick at his eyes. How long as he waited to hear such words? Mobius had started it by telling him he could be good, or anything he wanted to be, and Natasha has finished it with words that grip his heart, making him feel more loved than he ever could’ve expected. “I could not love you anymore than I do in this moment, my dear. I… thank you. You do not know what your words mean to me.”
He pulls back then, giving her a bit of a watery smile as she speaks of Clint. “I do hope you are right. I was truly awful to him and I would not expect him to forgive me. I hope one day to be able to show him just how much I have changed though.”
With a nod, he begins to explain, this time in detail. He goes over how Mobius recruited him from Renslayer’s court, and all about Sylvie and everything she’d been doing. His betrayal of Mobius when he had no other option, discovering the truth of the TVA. How the Time Keepers were not real. The pain he’d felt when Mobius had been pruned right in front of him just after he’d finally believed. And so on, the fight with Kang and Sylvie, his journey back to the TVA, the time slipping. He left out no detail, including the sacrifice he’d made and how hard it had been to watch Mobius and Sylvie’s reaction as they realized what he was to do. And how much harder it had been to turn away and begin his job.
“It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It took a long time, if you can count it as time, for me to be able to do things like coming to visit you here. I have not brought myself to speak with any of them again as there is only one I can bring back with me, and I do not wish to disrupt their lives further. I only hope they are not too upset when I invite them to our wedding.”
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
blackhourglass
no subject
Date: 2024-06-19 07:17 pm (UTC)He’s never been more excited for his future and all it will entail with her by his side.
“Yes, that is precisely it. It is personal and for us to be fully joined.” Their personal vows are something Loki believes to be entirely intimate and meant just for them, and as she mentioned, the fathers and mothers of time. Having others present for that part felt akin to others witnessing them make love. Of course, he has no issues with sex in public, but sex and making love were not the same thing to him. One is a (rather enjoyable under the right circumstances) kink and the other is private and personal. “So, we shall handfast and have our personal vows, do our marking, have our first night as a married couple together and then hold something for our families separately. Perhaps the next night?”
Really, the sooner the better. Loki already feels like they are paired, but he knows how much stronger their connection will be once they have performed these ceremonies. It is something he can feel deep inside, something he knows will complete them, make them stronger both together and apart.
“I do believe I would like to be surprised. The marks I have a few ideas on. I do not believe they need to be the same mark, but if we happen to find something that suits us both, I am not against it. I have a number of symbols that represent me that I would like to see on you and I would gladly wear your mark if you have something similar.”
no subject
Date: 2024-06-22 03:58 pm (UTC)This was to be very private and Natasha loved that idea. She knew that nature would bless this union and that was all that she needed. There were words that she found, old vows that she'd found that she wanted to tweak to suit them that she would use, she thought. They were very fitting for how she felt, and adding personal touch to how they were written would be perfect.
"I was thinking we might take a short holiday to further get to know one another before we get the rest of the world in. Most of the people we know take more than two days notice to drop everything for a wedding. Maybe a couple weeks for them, and that will give us time to also design a get together for the short list of people we want. Unless you're set on having it the day after tomorrow."
It's easy to understand wanting his family to be privy to their marriage and union, but it often takes time to get people together and not everyone would be available right away. It would take time to pick foods and drink, another gown, and a formal ceremony with someone who is registered to perform it and make it legal and binding in a court of law somewhere-- not that they needed it, but the universe is often demanding of such things.
Scrolling through various marks online, Natasha finds several spiders, her obvious trademark. Then she comes across something uniquely different. It's a tree that speaks to her. She's not even quite sure exactly why, but it stands out. Her and Loki haven't spoken much about his role in the multiverse, but she knows about his part in time, but not about the tree, or even how it works. They've not gone into any details. Still, this captures her. Maybe it's a part of the way their love works, and how they are tied together now. Their thoughts and minds bound in a way that's still not fully understood yet. "This. This speaks to me, what do you think. I don't even know why, but it's beautiful."
no subject
Date: 2024-06-25 08:26 pm (UTC)Though he has not thought of specific vows as of yet, Loki really does like to fly by the seat of his pants, he already knows the message he wishes to convey to her concerning vows. He believes it will not take him long to set those feelings to proper words. Everything seems to come so easily to him when he thinks of Natasha and the life they will have together.
“As far as I am concerned, weeks is fine for our friends and family to wait. I already know that I am yours and you are mine. Our personal and private ceremony I would like sooner, but a holiday in between sounds wonderful.” More time to spend alone with Natasha? He hardly needs convincing. After all, though he very much wants some people to be their witnesses, that part is truly the part that can wait. “Do you have anywhere or any-when you were thinking of? I could think of a few options, of course. I have seen so many beautiful places recently that I think you might enjoy.”
Loki looks at the screen and the moment he sees the image his breath catches in his throat. He can only stare for a moment, taking it in and trying to get his emotions under control because it’s perfect. Of course it’s perfect. Suddenly every idea he’d had before flies from his mind and he thinks perhaps they should have matching marks. He blinks some tears from his eyes, even as he grins widely and turns to kiss her fully. “It is absolutely perfect.”
no subject
Date: 2024-06-29 03:16 pm (UTC)"I still want our ceremony tomorrow, as long as you're okay with that. I don't want to wait another day. I have made sure that I can get my dress, and that's the main concern that I have. The rest is magic, words, blood and us. We will be bound tomorrow, not that we aren't already, but it will be our ceremony tomorrow." She set the computer aside for a moment so that she could nuzzle down in the bed with him. It was too hard to sit up, while he lay there beside him. She wanted to feel his body against hers again. It was like she could only go for so long without being close, without touching him in a more complete fashion. It was only another sign of how truly they completed one another. How they were made for one another.
"I'm glad you like that mark. I saw it and knew for some reason. I don't know how I did, or what it meant. I only knew that it was meant for both of us." She ran her fingers over his face, slowly tracing his features. He was absolutely perfect. She'd never met another person who looked so handsome, or unique as he did. There was darkness and light, a combination that matched her own and made her heart sing as it did. "Tell me about it"
no subject
Date: 2024-06-30 11:43 pm (UTC)She is right though. The planning for all of that can wait. There are much more important things to work out first, namely their private vow exchange. He is excited to show his family and friends his new wife, but making her his wife is his top priority.
“The sooner the better, my love. Truly, if I did not feel the need to make it perfect and set up everything we wish, I would marrying you this instant. I only wish to make it everything we both want. It is our celebration of us and we deserve nothing but the best.” He smiles as she goes over everything she has already managed to work out. It’s good that she’s so capable of organization because as much as Loki is into this, his planning skills can sometimes fall by the wayside as he gets distracted by things like his love for her. “Can I just say that you are very much impressing me right now. Your planning skills are bar none.”
He smiles as she puts the computer away and lays down with him. He pulls her close, breathing in her scent again as he wraps his arms around her, holding her to his body. It’s starting to feel like he’s missing a limb if she’s not close enough, though he suspect with the branding, that will ease a bit. It will be like they have each other with them at all times then.
“It is absolutely perfect. You will understand better when you see it for yourself, but my position aiding the welfare of the multiverse looks just like this. It is like putting my whole purpose into a mark that will be just for us because it is us.”
no subject
Date: 2024-07-01 03:25 pm (UTC)It will be nice to spend the time getting ready for him, and making herself the perfect bride. While she knows that she could show up naked and disheveled and he would love her the same, Natasha wants to look perfect for their vows. She's already thought of adding hair so that she can do a complicated set of braids, perhaps to go with her perfect gown. It's all been thought of. He's right, she loves to plan. It's a part of who she is, who she was trained to be and has been woven into her very core. She's lucky that he's allowed her such free reign over everything.
"I would wind time forward if I didn't want everything to be absolutely perfect, but I am also enjoying this night with you. I think that all our time together getting to know one another is important as well. We have our life, but I want to know so much already. I know it isn't easy, but I already feel like I'm a part of you in some way. I know that it's a part of what's put us together this way, made us and this love so strong so easily."
Natasha isn't certain that she'll ever get enough of being close to him, with the branding or not, but maybe with time her constant need to touch and be gathered in his arms will die down some. Breathing in the same air he exhales, she nuzzles against his nose gently. "I like to plan, and I'm thankful that you've allowed me to do all this. If you ever want more of a say, let me know. Otherwise, I'll be picking out everything for our bigger wedding, and have you all trussed up as well." She laughs softly. Although, she does have an eye on something he could wear for their future wedding. She doesn't care about tomorrow, that's for him to figure out. Unless he asks expressly.
Leaning in, she presses her lips to his and sighs. "I only knew it was perfect. I'm glad I found it then. It will be our mark on one another, our future, our purpose. You are so amazing, my love. I'm so proud of who you are and all you've become and done. You've come such a long way, and I can't wait to hear the tale. I feel so close to you and i know that tomorrow will only bring us closer."
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Date: 2024-07-03 06:38 pm (UTC)She’s right, he’ll always think she looks perfect. He can’t fathom a way in which he wouldn’t consider her the most beautiful and wonderful person he’s ever been so lucky to meet. And that she feels the same for him is truly astounding. He’ll do anything to make her happy, including letting her plan every last detail of their ceremony. And really, Loki does like to dress up himself. He is pretty sure he knows what he will be wearing as well and they will make the most dashing couple.
“There really is something about anticipation as well, is there not? I am very much enjoying discussing all this with you, looking forward to how special it will all be. I am sure it will be perfect because how could anything for use be anything less?” The whole thing could go wrong, everything could fall apart, but so long as they were marked and spoke their vows, to Loki it would be perfect. “Just the opportunity to have you like this in my life has made this the best night of my life, and I know things are only looking to get better with each and every subsequent night.”
Don’t get him wrong, Loki doesn’t think he’ll ever tire of touching her or being touched in return. There is something fully addictive about all of this, but he also believes that it will not feel so… painful if they are to separate with the brand. Right now, even the idea of being separated for even the smallest amount of time leaves an aching feeling in his chest. Right now though, he doesn’t need to worry about that as she nuzzles him. He chuckles in return, nuzzling her back. “Honestly, I am happy to let you plan everything. I do like to be involved enough to see our options, but so far everything you have picked out has been perfect. I trust you implicitly.”
Natasha’s words bring a tear to his eye and he cannot stop smiling even as she kisses him. Her finding that exact design is clearly just another sign of how they were meant to be, her words only adding to the perfection. “Only you could leave me with a loss for words,” he whispers against her ear. “I feel the same for you. How you have managed to be so strong and intelligent and caring after all you have faced is something I truly admire in you. I could not love anyone more.”
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Date: 2024-07-04 04:56 pm (UTC)Extending the kiss into something deeper, Natasha takes her time with it. It's like every single time she runs her tongue through Loki's mouth, there's a new depth, new flavor to him. He's full of life, and hidden things, velvety richness, dark chocolate covered cherries, and a swirl of brandy by candlelight. Her legs slide along his while they kiss, body unable to accept anything but the ultimate in closeness. It is painful to love this deeply, to need this fully. It's a thirst that won't be quenched, an ache that can't be filled. Breaking the kiss, she moans softly. "I don't think I shall ever grow tired of being a part of you. This is what I've been missing my whole life and I have no idea how I didn't even realize it." Her lips graze over his chin and down his throat.
"Thank you for trusting me, for loving me enough for this. I want to share everything with you. I couldn't imagine doing any of this without you, preparing our lives together is a thing I want to do with you, every single step. I trust you with my all as well, and if you were to take over I'd feel perfectly safe in knowing that no matter what happened would be perfect because what matters most, is us. You and me." Natasha ran her hands over his shoulder, and down his side, cupping his ass. Her fingers gripped at it tightly, holding him close to her.
"You are the only one that could love me like this. I only know part of your life, I can't wait for you to tell me more. Tell me love, how did you start your journey between here and there? What more should I know before we wed?" Her words are almost breathless, but she's trying to distract herself, to keep herself from engaging in other activities just yet. They have so much more to talk about and she really does want to learn more.
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Date: 2024-07-04 08:32 pm (UTC)But then she kisses him and he can’t help but melt into it. His lips move slowly against hers, opening up to her so they can taste each other. Loki moves in closer, wrapping his arms around her more tightly so they are flush together as the kiss deepens. It’s like he’s addicted to her, like he can’t possibly imagine ever not having her around again and the only way to keep her is to keep her as close as possible. She feels soft and pliant against him, as if they mesh together perfectly, and he supposes that is the truth. There is no one else for him, and he plans on spending the rest of time showing her exactly how much she means to him.
“Sometimes these things are not for us to know right away. We need to be at certain points in our development before the truly important relationships can develop correctly. If we had come together at any other point in time, it might not have worked and that is not a world I wish to experience.” His head tilts back as he feels her lips on his throat and he sighs happily, a smile on his face.
“I think for us it is best that we do all these things together. We each have our strengths and putting those together will surely create the greatest celebration of a union anyone might ever see, even the parts meant only for us.” So far, he believes they are doing a fine job of it as well. Her style and wants for the ceremony fit his own perfectly, and really, he wants nothing more than for her to have her dream wedding.
If anything, Loki understands the need for distraction, and yet he does nothing but moan and gently kiss her neck for a moment when she grabs his ass. “Well,” he starts, speaking between gentle kisses. “It all started for me when I noticed something strange happen as I was being taken away after you stopped my attack on New York City. It seems some of the Avengers had travelled in time, and as luck would have it, the result ended up with the Tesseract simply lying at my feet, ripe for the taking.”
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Date: 2024-07-07 04:06 pm (UTC)While she knows and they have already talked about them meeting at the right time for the both of them. It still feels so remarkable that their fates twisted up to put them together here and now. It had been such a crazy time. They've been working so hard to prepare for Thanos, and what's to come. Yet now she has a higher calling. It's not something that she can rightly fathom. A part of her knows that she still has a part to play in her world, but she's not exactly sure how that will work, as she moves on to become a guardian of time with Loki. It is something they can talk about later.
Rubbing her fingers over his ass, she enjoys the way it feels and knows that one day soon she wants to enjoy it fully the way he enjoyed hers. It's another thing to talk about. "Time travel, huh. I wonder why we were doing that. It must be a thing from the future, because I'm certain I would have been alerted, or would have cracked into the Avenger's database and seen it." She doesn't let it bother her at all. She knows that he's seen time in various forms, so if there's a variation of what happens, it's a twist she looks forward to. "So, back at the old tesseract arrest, huh? What did you do with it just laying there. You picked it up, didn't you. That's what I would have done." It's the smartest move. Getting the fuck out of there with the tesseract. "You're such a wonderful little snake." She kisses him on the nose, knowing he's full of trouble, as he is everything else. "That's a different story from the one we know...Huh. So, is that how you broke time, or whatever it was you did? or I guess we broke time, cause we messed it up and put it at your feet, didn't we."
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Date: 2024-07-08 06:18 pm (UTC)And truly, Loki knows just how important Natasha is in hers and many timelines. He has no intention of keeping her from those duties. Simply because the multiverse exists and she will now help guard it with him does not mean she has nothing to wrap up in her own world. He also knows what awaits her, but that is not his story to tell. What he does know is that what will appear like an end to her friends and family will be just the beginning for her. However that happens in her timeline, it doesn’t matter. She will come home to him, always. But he will not further influence her decisions. Even with their souls tied together, she is still her own person and will always be.
The way she touches him makes him grin. He’s having the same thoughts as she is and he is very interested. It might be something for another time, but that doesn’t stop Loki from pushing his ass back into her hand.
“I am sure you will find out what was happening, but I am not one for spoilers.” He’s only partially joking, of course, but he still doesn’t plan on telling her anything of her own future in detail. It’s not his job to affect timelines, only to make sure they have the chance to survive. “And yes, of course I picked it up. I was still very much the villain you knew me as at that point, even if the effects of the mind stone had left me. I was thinking much more clearly, but that does not mean I would not take a chance to get away from the fate I figured was coming.” He grins at the kiss and laughs slightly. “Yes, that was my nexus event, though apparently, what the Avengers did was not considered the breaking of time. In how things worked at the time, it was supposed to happen. I was just not supposed to escape. Winning was not what I was meant to do. At least then.”
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Date: 2024-07-10 03:01 pm (UTC)"I am looking forward to what this life together brings us. You are the only person I could ever see spending my eternity with." She's honest and forthcoming. There's an openness in her eyes for him that she's never had with another soul. Perhaps her world was what she cherished before, but she is willing to let go of that path now and seek the one that they have together. She imagines that her timeline probably took a branch the day they made love. She might ask him about it when they make it around to such a topic again. Certainly this wasn't where her life was supposed to go, how her death and future are predicted. Wouldn't that make her a variant as well now? She doesn't quite know how it all works, but she will learn. She's pretty quick at it.
As they talk, her hands wander, the hand on his ass continues to play. When he pushes against her palm, she has no qualms about teasing him further. Her finger is dry and so it can't do much, but she does part his cheeks and run it along the line of them. She pauses at his entrance, and lets it dimple inward briefly. There aren't many men who enjoy such things, but with the way he reacted-- her testing is casual and easy. He can certainly pull away if he wishes.
"I'm sure, but I have a feeling that what we've done already creates a gap." She postulates, not worrying about any future of hers, because she knows that she is safe with Loki as it is. "I did say you were a snake, didn't I." She says with love in her voice, because whoever he was, she's been there too. "Who wants to be arrested, I mean, really. Nexus event. That's a new term. I'll remember it. You start to turn things around, at least from what Thor says. I mean, it's enough that I made the choice to talk to you, to approach you and look what happened. I found an entirely different you. I didn't even know." She leans in to kiss him softly, and then pulls back. "So, where did you go after that? What happened, that's the exciting part of all this, yes?"
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Date: 2024-07-13 03:14 am (UTC)“And I am looking forward to showing you everything. Having you by my side is nothing short of a miracle and together we will preserve all life. I could not see doing this with anyone else.” She is correct about that. Their unification has definitely caused a new branch. One where it is possible that she will not go back to be the sacrifice for the soul stone. Of course, if she wishes to fulfil that destiny, Loki will not stop her. Rather she would simply come to him after her death on the timeline. Otherwise, that branch will do as all others do and find another way to survive. And really he wouldn’t be adverse to helping it along to make sure their mission is still successful.
The last thing he wants to do is pull away. Personally, he disagrees that most men wouldn’t enjoy such treatment. Rather he believes they are afraid of what it might mean to their fragile egos. Of course, he understands that not everyone likes everything when it comes to such personal things, but not liking simply because of being male… well that is expressed by men who have yet to find their prostates.
He blinks slowly and hums as she tests him, his breath coming out in slow pants as he tries to keep his mind on the conversation. He’d be lying though if he said the test wasn’t turning him on. He does nothing more than rock back against her hand again, still attempting to keep things casual.
“You are not wrong, but it is not anything that will cause issues, not anymore.” He grins at the snake comment and presses a kiss to her cheek. “And yes. I suppose it is not just my brother who has an affinity for snakes. Nexus event is the term for when a person makes a decision that causes a branch big enough on the timeline that a whole new timeline comes into existence. My purpose was to be arrested and taken to Asgard, when I did not do that, I was arrested by a completely different authority. But I will get to that in a moment. Thor is correct. It took quite some time and for much to happen, but in the natural course of things, I did redeem myself. I am simply not a version of me that experienced that specific course of events. I am aware of them though.”
“Oh, and do remind me to thank my brother for that. If it is because of his words that you spoke with me, then he played no small part in bringing us together.”
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Date: 2024-07-14 07:06 pm (UTC)The night continues to play on as they talk and love, ever growing closer to the sunrise of a new day-- their day. One that both of them will forever hold in memorandum. It gives Natasha even more reason to want to be close to Loki in every way possible, even if she's only toying with him now. It places in her mind limits of things that might happen between them in the future. She wants to be everything he needs and wants in the bedroom, and while she can't change her gender, she can certainly pleasure him to the best of her ability.
"You are so hot. God." She can't help herself when he pushes back against her finger. It makes her own heart jump in her chest and a new fire spark below. She can ignore it, but it's hard with their legs so tangled together and their bodies so close. "I'm glad that we won't create any issues. I would hate to have to worry about us causing problems for you back at where you are now. No matter who you are, or what happened to you, you are the man I love, the heart I adore. I can feel it and all that you are so much deeper than I've ever felt another person. So, whether you lived that life or another one. I'm glad that it brought us together."
She laughed softly. "We can thank him at the wedding, together." She nuzzled against him, and pressed her lips softly against his. "So, after you were taken away what happened. Who took you?"
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Date: 2024-07-17 08:08 pm (UTC)Really, he couldn’t ask for anything more. Just that they can do this. Lie around in each other’s arms, talking about the future, their future, laughing and loving and simply being together. Until that night when he’d decided to message her, wanting her to know that he is sorry for the things he did in their shared past, he’d been almost desperate for some companionship. He has some contact with the TVA, but with Mobius’ retirement, he hasn’t felt overly close to anyone there. He is happy for his friend, but he also misses having someone to talk to. Or rather he missed, past tense, but Natasha is that for him now and so much more.
He really could never thank her enough, or show her just how much he truly cares for her.
She truly does not have to worry about not pleasing him physically. He can’t imagine being more satisfied than he already is in her bed. The fact that she is willing to do more only proves that point. Even if she is not interested in trying such things with him, how they have been with each other this night alone is proof enough that she is everything he will ever need. When it comes down to it, Loki falls in love with people, not their gender.
Loki chuckles lightly and presses his face into the pillow. He’s not unaware that some find him attractive, but he’s unsure anyone has said it quite so bluntly to his face before. He absolutely adores it. “No,” he says, turning his face back to look at her again. “There is nothing to worry about at all, my love. I cannot tell you how happy I am to hear you say all of that. I have worked very hard to improve myself and to know that I might be worthy of you has brought me to new heights. I have never felt so connected to anyone before. That you feel the same is more than I ever could’ve hoped for.”
“I’m sure he will be delighted to hear it.” Thor always was a bit of a romantic. Loki savours their kiss some before continuing. “I was taken by the Time Variance Authority, or more simply, the TVA. They are an organization that exists outside of time and at that point their purpose was to maintain what they called the Sacred Timeline. Essentially, there was no multiverse because they prevented the main timeline from branching off into new possibilities. They were all under the impression that this was necessary to prevent a multiversal war. Anyone who did something to cause a branch, a nexus point, were rounded up and brought in. As you can imagine, me escaping Thor’s custody was a pretty large deviation.”
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Date: 2024-07-21 04:16 pm (UTC)Watching Loki press his face into the pillow makes Natasha laugh softly with him. He's so beautiful, and maybe he knows a part of it, but because she's fallen so deeply for him it only makes him that much more attractive to her. There is not another male or female out there that will ever compare to the star that he is in her sky. Nuzzling against his shoulder, his neck, she curls under his chin and inhales deeply, breathing Loki in and making him the very air she needed to survive. He was her salvation, her world, inside and out and there was nothing that would change that. "You are so much to me, and I still keep wanting to pinch myself to make sure all this is real. I mean, morning can't come soon enough. I need to be bound to you already."
Sighing softly, she lifted her head so she could look at him, taking in all the closeness implied by the way they kiss one another. She laughed again, shaking her head. "You caused a hell of a ruckus with that I'm sure. So they arrested you? I mean, if that's what they do. Does it happen a lot? Do people screw up the timeline a lot? I know we are, but wow.. I never thought about it..."
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Date: 2024-07-26 06:11 pm (UTC)He doesn’t know about being beautiful, especially next to someone as exquisite as she is. Again, he’s aware that some find him attractive, but to him beauty is so much more than looks. Natasha isn’t just gorgeous to look at, she’s beautiful inside. Loki is aware that she might not know that based on some of her history, but he’ll make it one of his goals to show her just how beautiful she is. He knows just how much she has devoted to making things better in her world, how much she has done for friends and family and really, her universe at large. She is truly an outstanding person that he could not be any less proud of.
As she curls into him, he shifts and wraps an arm around her, holding her close. He feels so at peace in her arms, and he knows that she will always be home to him. No matter what their future may hold, she will be his constant. “I feel the same, my love. I almost wish I felt tired so we could pass the time more quickly by sleeping, but I feel more energized than ever before. I am a buzz with excitement and how much I love you.”
Turning with her as she shifts, Loki smiles at her in return. “Yes, they arrested me. And it is what they did at the time. It was a fairly common occurrence, though it was more common for certain types. As you can imagine, someone like myself is more apt to go against the grain, as it were. I met plenty of my own variants, but I imagine you would not be surprised that I did not see a single Steve Rogers.”
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Date: 2024-07-29 04:25 pm (UTC)Pressing her breasts against his chest, she finds comfort in the hardness of his body and in the way he's sculpted against her curves. Their legs curve together perfectly, and she knows that they will always match together in every other aspect as well. No matter what they do, it will always be this way. "I'm sure if we get bored, we'll manage to make it pass more quickly. I have my stories, but somehow I have this feeling that you know them. At least most of my barriers are gone. You've melted them all away." She kissed along the edges of his lips, and then down along his chin and across his chest where she'd been resting her head. He was beautiful because she loved him, and in her eye that was all that mattered. He could have been an ogre and she still would have found him as beautiful as a golden sun.
She laughed against his skin. "Steve. I bet he might have changed a few timelines after he went after Peggy. I still think there has to be at least one where he didn't leave Bucky." She always wondered if he would have stayed if Bucky asked him to. They had done so much for one another, and their friendship was sometimes beyond that of two friends, platonic soulmates she often thought of them. "Not that it matters. So, you were a wild and crazy thing, and had a thrilling ride through the timelines? Meeting yourself? That had to be awkward."
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Date: 2024-07-30 12:01 am (UTC)He sighs, contented as he feels her press against him. There truly is no better feeling that lying there with her, entwined and relaxed as they talk of their plans and their future together. “I cannot imagine being bored with you around, but I do imagine there are ways to make the time pass more quickly.” Plenty of fun and interesting ways, he’s quite sure. “I do know your stories, but I do not know them from your perspective. I would love to hear your thoughts on anything you wish to tell me about.” It wasn’t the same, seeing something from a distance and getting someone’s personal view. He also thinks that it would help him know her even better, if that is even possible.
“You would think so, but apparently all of that was ‘supposed’ to happen.” The quotes are practically audible in his tone. Mostly Loki has let his issues with He Who Remained go, but it still bothers him just a little bit that the Avengers were allowed certain concessions that others were not. But that is why he does what he does. So that everyone has the same options and opportunities without the threat of a multiversal war. “Oh, there are plenty now where he doesn’t leave Bucky. Sometimes they simply remain friends, others where they are more. It is quite interesting. Plenty I had not expected from the Captain. I was glad to find he has so much more going on inside him that it appears on the outside. He laughs then and nods. “It was more frustrating than awkward. I really did not know how annoying I can be.”
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Date: 2024-08-01 07:20 pm (UTC)In this direction, he was the match to her soul and somehow lifted her from the mire of her life. He allowed her to see that she could move beyond that without dying a death for the universe. She found a purpose and meaning that would allow her to remove all that sticky red business from her ledger within him, and he filled her without a second thought. Already within him, she felt more pure than she had ever found herself feeling before. Maybe it was because they'd both been through it, and they were perfect for one another. Their bodies knew it and their love did, because it would encompass so much.
"Then I will start from the beginning. My father gave me away to the Red Room, sold me rather so that I could train to become a soviet spy, a super soviet spy. They took advantage of me in every way imaginable. They used my body, my mind, and my preyed on my emotions. I became the ultimate actor, seductress, and killer from a young age. They used their equipment to give me false memories, some I still have here in my brain. I know how to dance like a ballerina, although I never was one. They killed my mother for the simple act of looking for me." She moved against him, finding it easier to tell the story if he was even more flush against her body, as if they could be any closer. Maybe it would be easier if he was already inside her. Running her body against his, Nat sighed softly.
"And you, you broke time and then put it back together again? Did you almost destroy the world while you were fixing it. I know you had to have gotten in trouble once you got to the time agency. That's the only way any one could ever reform you the way they have." Natasha was carefully wise, and brushed her fingers through his hair, laughing a little when he mentioned how annoying he could be. "We can all be annoying when we choose to, my love."
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Date: 2024-08-06 02:36 am (UTC)But they had, and as a result, they had both learned and grown and now they got to impart their wisdom on the whole multiverse, even if most people never knew what they did for them. Loki didn’t need that kind of recognition anymore and he suspects that Natasha never did.
What he does suspect though, is that they both were good people underneath it all and always had been. He has just as much red in his ledger as she does, they only came about it differently. In fact, he thinks she has always been a much better person than he has been. A lot of what brought the red for Loki was his own spoiled nature. Sure, there had been reasons behind some of his actions. Odin and even Frigga had not been faultless in how Loki had acted, but Loki also now knew how to take responsibility for his own actions. It’s one of the many reasons why he thrives in his current role. It’s finally a chance for him to truly redeem himself.
Something he knows Natasha wants as well, even if he doesn’t think she needs it, not after all she has done for the Earth as an Avenger.
She doesn’t need to ask, he pulls her closer without even thinking about it as she tells her story. He knew the basics, that she was a Russian spy, and had been trained from a very young age, but that her father had sold her, or her mother was killed for trying to find her. Those things Loki had not gone looking for. He was fully capable of seeing the lives of anyone and everyone he knew, but mostly he let everyone keep their privacy, only looking in on his friends every now and then, ostensibly to keep an eye on them, but really because he missed them.
”Is it wrong that I would like to find the right place in time and murder your father for such a crime?” He knows full well that he wouldn’t have Natasha like this if such things had not happened, but he also hates the idea of anyone hurting her. He also has a mind to go blow up a couple of Red Rooms. And not just for her, but for everyone they tortured like that.
Loki laughs then, relaxing again as the topic of their conversation changes back to that of the TVA. “Of course I almost broke time. On more than one occasion really, but really most of my redemption is due to one person. Apparently, all I needed was one person to believe in me. Though I still very much tested him. It also didn’t hurt being taken away from everyone and everything that had me feeling as I did. That separation allowed me to clear my mind and figure out what I actually wanted and believed. Strange how these things work, isn’t it?”
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Date: 2024-08-07 03:55 pm (UTC)Giving it all up to work and somehow maintain the balance of the universe sounds magical to Natasha. It is a way to bring about wonder in her life while relinquishing the bonds that have held her tight for so long.
"My father is long gone, I think. I don't even know his name. He's not a man to me. No one raised me. I have no father. I have no mother, only a sister. My sestrah, Yelena. She is my home in this earth, aside from you. It is okay though. I am certain she will be happy for me. We only spent three years together as a spy family even if she didn't know. I - I was pulled from that life by Barton, that's why he and I were close, why he was so fucking special to me. We had a night in a sewer. I- I knew I felt something for him then, but I knew he wanted a family, and I couldn't ever give him that.
My love changed across time, to that of a best friend, and I knew I'd never truly love as one might deserve anything - that's why you challenged all that, changed all that." She'd already blown up the Red Room as it was, and freed the majority of the widows like her all over the world when she did. It had taken a lot of work, and almost killed her, but she managed with the help of her pseudo-family.
"You could do it if anyone." She nuzzles him, and kisses him softly, cupping his cheek. "I'm so proud of you. So you found your person then? Who is this mysterious person who believed in you? It's a wondrous story for certain."
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Date: 2024-08-18 12:18 am (UTC)Or at least that was how it seemed until he’d found out about Kang’s plan for him. If anyone were truly to blame, it was him. Even if most of his variants had acted much worse, Loki knew that if he’d tried to be better sooner, he just would’ve been found by the TVA much earlier.
“I know. I just hate that someone that should care for you instead caused you such strife.” There, of course, was also the part where Loki has some daddy issues still, but he didn’t think of it like that at the moment. “You are a wonderful person, strong and dedicated. Not just anyone would be able to turn themselves around as you did, even if it did take some help. We all need help sometimes. But to think anyone treated you like that and put you in such a place. It fills me with anger.”
Loki quieted as Natasha spoke of Clint. Guilt filled him as he remembered so clearly how he had used him for his own misdeeds. Even if much of that had been due to the staff and Thanos, Loki knew he’d played his own part there. He’d hardly fought when the Other had found him after his fall from the Bifrost. A true hero would have.
“I am truly sorry for what I did to your friend. I do hope you know that. I hope it does not affect him attending our wedding.” And not just because he wanted everyone who loved Natasha to come celebrate with her, but because he wished to apologize to the man face to face.
Loki held her closer as she asked of Mobius. He did miss his friend dearly. “His name is Mobius and he is the last person you might expect I would be friends with. He appears rather boring, stiff and stuck in his ways, but there is so much more to him. I hope you will be able to meet him soon. I would love to have him stand by my side during our more public ceremony.” Loki would tell her anything and everything about his friend that night. How he was the first person to really believe him and believe in him. In some ways, he had been like a real father to him, but mostly Loki just considered him the best friend anyone could have.
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Date: 2024-08-20 07:37 pm (UTC)It was easy to take the cup and drink from it, and while Loki did it here and there, it was often with the driving need to be truly taken seriously, to be loved and noticed as the other members in his family did Thor. Natasha could see his heart now, and knew that there were light and dark in them both and for various reasons. However, the light cast out the seeds of darkness that had been sewn by lesser forces. Their demons played well together, as did their angels.
They fit so perfectly, their eternities were fated to wind together forever in a never ending loop of love, one to see the other as strong and the other there to help protect that what made them so. "I feel so much the same, my love. I dare say that I want to hurt those who cast you aside, who told you that you were anything less than the amazing man that I know you are. You are intelligent, cunning, and wise, even when you wish to ignore it at times." She teased him about the last part with a nose to his cheek. God she loved him.
Stroking her hand along his hip in a dancing circle, Natasha watched her fingers as he spoke of his regrets about Clint. She shook her head. The past was the past, and they both had their fingers in things they'd done wrong. "He will see and know that you are not the same. If I love you like this, he will know and stand at my side the same way your Mobius will stand beside yours."
Natasha had no strong female friends, and she'd rather have Clint at her side in her wedding over anyone else. The story of how Loki came to meet and know Mobius was incredible, and his time spent finding his purpose was terrifying, but also awe inspiring. If Natasha didn't already love him, she grew to love him more. "So, what happened then, in the end? Explain that part to me again? I don't get it all..." It was a little confusing -- the hows and whys of how he exactly saved the universes and ended up governing them all. She also was curious about her part in all this now.
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Date: 2024-08-20 10:40 pm (UTC)He had also given into the darkness the moment he’d let go of the Bifrost bridge, letting the Void take him. He’d believed, in that moment when it had become clear that Odin could never see his side, that he was nothing but a burden to his family and that letting go would be better than the eternity he would spend in the cells of Asgard.
She was right though. Deep down, those were the root causes of his reactions. His desperate need to be as loved and respected as his brother. It had always been a foolish pursuit though, he simply had not known it. Not that it would have mattered at all, not with how the TVA had been running things at the time.
As she speaks of what she sees in him, he can’t help but pull her closer, burying his face in her hair as he feels tears prick at his eyes. How long as he waited to hear such words? Mobius had started it by telling him he could be good, or anything he wanted to be, and Natasha has finished it with words that grip his heart, making him feel more loved than he ever could’ve expected. “I could not love you anymore than I do in this moment, my dear. I… thank you. You do not know what your words mean to me.”
He pulls back then, giving her a bit of a watery smile as she speaks of Clint. “I do hope you are right. I was truly awful to him and I would not expect him to forgive me. I hope one day to be able to show him just how much I have changed though.”
With a nod, he begins to explain, this time in detail. He goes over how Mobius recruited him from Renslayer’s court, and all about Sylvie and everything she’d been doing. His betrayal of Mobius when he had no other option, discovering the truth of the TVA. How the Time Keepers were not real. The pain he’d felt when Mobius had been pruned right in front of him just after he’d finally believed. And so on, the fight with Kang and Sylvie, his journey back to the TVA, the time slipping. He left out no detail, including the sacrifice he’d made and how hard it had been to watch Mobius and Sylvie’s reaction as they realized what he was to do. And how much harder it had been to turn away and begin his job.
“It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It took a long time, if you can count it as time, for me to be able to do things like coming to visit you here. I have not brought myself to speak with any of them again as there is only one I can bring back with me, and I do not wish to disrupt their lives further. I only hope they are not too upset when I invite them to our wedding.”
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