It's a wonder that she could be here talking about a future with anyone, and she can't wait to be an actual part of that future much longer. She can't wait to see what challenges await them, what will be in store for them as they grow and change in the future. Knowing that he will take his time to love her and put her as a priority in his life when he is the overseer of so incredibly much tells Natasha more than she needs to know about him. It makes her heart soar, and it makes her feel even more special than she ever thought she could be to another person once more.
Watching Loki press his face into the pillow makes Natasha laugh softly with him. He's so beautiful, and maybe he knows a part of it, but because she's fallen so deeply for him it only makes him that much more attractive to her. There is not another male or female out there that will ever compare to the star that he is in her sky. Nuzzling against his shoulder, his neck, she curls under his chin and inhales deeply, breathing Loki in and making him the very air she needed to survive. He was her salvation, her world, inside and out and there was nothing that would change that. "You are so much to me, and I still keep wanting to pinch myself to make sure all this is real. I mean, morning can't come soon enough. I need to be bound to you already."
Sighing softly, she lifted her head so she could look at him, taking in all the closeness implied by the way they kiss one another. She laughed again, shaking her head. "You caused a hell of a ruckus with that I'm sure. So they arrested you? I mean, if that's what they do. Does it happen a lot? Do people screw up the timeline a lot? I know we are, but wow.. I never thought about it..."
If there was one thing that Loki has learned is that life in and of itself is a wonder. It takes such a strange course of events to cause certain things together. Loki has seen many versions of himself now and most of them were not as lucky as he has been. Of course, most of them did not attempt any sort of redemption or salvation as he did. He doesnāt know if that makes him any better or worse, but it is definitely an example of how anything can happen. He also knows that if anyone is up to handling things like that by his side, it is Natasha. She has done nothing but prove that in her time on the Sacred Timeline, and if heās honest, all the timelines she exists in. It is truly and honour and a privilege that she would devote her time to him and he is not about to take her for granted.
He doesnāt know about being beautiful, especially next to someone as exquisite as she is. Again, heās aware that some find him attractive, but to him beauty is so much more than looks. Natasha isnāt just gorgeous to look at, sheās beautiful inside. Loki is aware that she might not know that based on some of her history, but heāll make it one of his goals to show her just how beautiful she is. He knows just how much she has devoted to making things better in her world, how much she has done for friends and family and really, her universe at large. She is truly an outstanding person that he could not be any less proud of.
As she curls into him, he shifts and wraps an arm around her, holding her close. He feels so at peace in her arms, and he knows that she will always be home to him. No matter what their future may hold, she will be his constant. āI feel the same, my love. I almost wish I felt tired so we could pass the time more quickly by sleeping, but I feel more energized than ever before. I am a buzz with excitement and how much I love you.ā
Turning with her as she shifts, Loki smiles at her in return. āYes, they arrested me. And it is what they did at the time. It was a fairly common occurrence, though it was more common for certain types. As you can imagine, someone like myself is more apt to go against the grain, as it were. I met plenty of my own variants, but I imagine you would not be surprised that I did not see a single Steve Rogers.ā
Laying next to him, Natasha wishes she could wind time in a ball and toss it into the wind so that it would be morning already and they would be one in an even closer manner than they were now. All the plans have stirred into motion so many thrilling feelings and she's never felt more alive, even during combat. That's something that she's never been able to say before and here she is able to admit to the fact that love is truly the most powerful force in the universe.
Pressing her breasts against his chest, she finds comfort in the hardness of his body and in the way he's sculpted against her curves. Their legs curve together perfectly, and she knows that they will always match together in every other aspect as well. No matter what they do, it will always be this way. "I'm sure if we get bored, we'll manage to make it pass more quickly. I have my stories, but somehow I have this feeling that you know them. At least most of my barriers are gone. You've melted them all away." She kissed along the edges of his lips, and then down along his chin and across his chest where she'd been resting her head. He was beautiful because she loved him, and in her eye that was all that mattered. He could have been an ogre and she still would have found him as beautiful as a golden sun.
She laughed against his skin. "Steve. I bet he might have changed a few timelines after he went after Peggy. I still think there has to be at least one where he didn't leave Bucky." She always wondered if he would have stayed if Bucky asked him to. They had done so much for one another, and their friendship was sometimes beyond that of two friends, platonic soulmates she often thought of them. "Not that it matters. So, you were a wild and crazy thing, and had a thrilling ride through the timelines? Meeting yourself? That had to be awkward."
Thereās a small part of Loki that wants to break his own rules and just walk them through a timedoor to the next morning, but that could cause a whole host of problems, not the least of them being getting the attention of B-15. He really appreciates all the former hunter does for the TVA, but he also doesnāt want to annoy her. No one should ever want to annoy her. And Loki doesnāt want to do anything to jeopardize his and Natashaās plans. If that means waiting a few hours, then thatās what they would do.
He sighs, contented as he feels her press against him. There truly is no better feeling that lying there with her, entwined and relaxed as they talk of their plans and their future together. āI cannot imagine being bored with you around, but I do imagine there are ways to make the time pass more quickly.ā Plenty of fun and interesting ways, heās quite sure. āI do know your stories, but I do not know them from your perspective. I would love to hear your thoughts on anything you wish to tell me about.ā It wasnāt the same, seeing something from a distance and getting someoneās personal view. He also thinks that it would help him know her even better, if that is even possible.
āYou would think so, but apparently all of that was āsupposedā to happen.ā The quotes are practically audible in his tone. Mostly Loki has let his issues with He Who Remained go, but it still bothers him just a little bit that the Avengers were allowed certain concessions that others were not. But that is why he does what he does. So that everyone has the same options and opportunities without the threat of a multiversal war. āOh, there are plenty now where he doesnāt leave Bucky. Sometimes they simply remain friends, others where they are more. It is quite interesting. Plenty I had not expected from the Captain. I was glad to find he has so much more going on inside him that it appears on the outside. He laughs then and nods. āIt was more frustrating than awkward. I really did not know how annoying I can be.ā
Breaking rules is unequivocally the easiest thing in the world to do, and they've both done it too many times in their lives and know far too well the devil is in the details and the details all go to hell when the rules end up broken. Things never quite end up how things are meant to when the laws of the universe are broken, unless for some fated reason they're meant to be. Then there are surprises in store-- but usually there are a LOT of things that must be resolved before then. Natasha already learned that over and over in her life, and her death would be the ultimate resolve to all the guilt and weight that she carried if she'd never met Loki like this and departed from her time line.
In this direction, he was the match to her soul and somehow lifted her from the mire of her life. He allowed her to see that she could move beyond that without dying a death for the universe. She found a purpose and meaning that would allow her to remove all that sticky red business from her ledger within him, and he filled her without a second thought. Already within him, she felt more pure than she had ever found herself feeling before. Maybe it was because they'd both been through it, and they were perfect for one another. Their bodies knew it and their love did, because it would encompass so much.
"Then I will start from the beginning. My father gave me away to the Red Room, sold me rather so that I could train to become a soviet spy, a super soviet spy. They took advantage of me in every way imaginable. They used my body, my mind, and my preyed on my emotions. I became the ultimate actor, seductress, and killer from a young age. They used their equipment to give me false memories, some I still have here in my brain. I know how to dance like a ballerina, although I never was one. They killed my mother for the simple act of looking for me." She moved against him, finding it easier to tell the story if he was even more flush against her body, as if they could be any closer. Maybe it would be easier if he was already inside her. Running her body against his, Nat sighed softly.
"And you, you broke time and then put it back together again? Did you almost destroy the world while you were fixing it. I know you had to have gotten in trouble once you got to the time agency. That's the only way any one could ever reform you the way they have." Natasha was carefully wise, and brushed her fingers through his hair, laughing a little when he mentioned how annoying he could be. "We can all be annoying when we choose to, my love."
Breaking the rules could be fun. If anyone knew that, it was definitely Loki. But what breaking the rules never did was get you what you wanted or needed. Breaking the rules was something fun for kids. Sneaking out after curfew, drinking before you were allowed, skipping class. In general, rather harmless and let you have a little fun. What didnāt work was breaking rules for the important things. That is a lesson that is much harder to learn, and heās sure both he and Natasha caused a lot of issues while they did so.
But they had, and as a result, they had both learned and grown and now they got to impart their wisdom on the whole multiverse, even if most people never knew what they did for them. Loki didnāt need that kind of recognition anymore and he suspects that Natasha never did.
What he does suspect though, is that they both were good people underneath it all and always had been. He has just as much red in his ledger as she does, they only came about it differently. In fact, he thinks she has always been a much better person than he has been. A lot of what brought the red for Loki was his own spoiled nature. Sure, there had been reasons behind some of his actions. Odin and even Frigga had not been faultless in how Loki had acted, but Loki also now knew how to take responsibility for his own actions. Itās one of the many reasons why he thrives in his current role. Itās finally a chance for him to truly redeem himself.
Something he knows Natasha wants as well, even if he doesnāt think she needs it, not after all she has done for the Earth as an Avenger.
She doesnāt need to ask, he pulls her closer without even thinking about it as she tells her story. He knew the basics, that she was a Russian spy, and had been trained from a very young age, but that her father had sold her, or her mother was killed for trying to find her. Those things Loki had not gone looking for. He was fully capable of seeing the lives of anyone and everyone he knew, but mostly he let everyone keep their privacy, only looking in on his friends every now and then, ostensibly to keep an eye on them, but really because he missed them.
āIs it wrong that I would like to find the right place in time and murder your father for such a crime?ā He knows full well that he wouldnāt have Natasha like this if such things had not happened, but he also hates the idea of anyone hurting her. He also has a mind to go blow up a couple of Red Rooms. And not just for her, but for everyone they tortured like that.
Loki laughs then, relaxing again as the topic of their conversation changes back to that of the TVA. āOf course I almost broke time. On more than one occasion really, but really most of my redemption is due to one person. Apparently, all I needed was one person to believe in me. Though I still very much tested him. It also didnāt hurt being taken away from everyone and everything that had me feeling as I did. That separation allowed me to clear my mind and figure out what I actually wanted and believed. Strange how these things work, isnāt it?ā
It's good that they were so much more alike than different in many aspects. He might see her in a brighter light than she saw herself, but truly her heart doesn't feel like it would be judged an equal weight against a feather on Anubis's scales. The only reason she'd say that Loki might feel more is because he has the weight of living a far longer life than she has. If she'd been alive so long, she can't imagine the damage one like her might have done. She's still a killer, even if it is done under the guise of 'good'.
Giving it all up to work and somehow maintain the balance of the universe sounds magical to Natasha. It is a way to bring about wonder in her life while relinquishing the bonds that have held her tight for so long.
"My father is long gone, I think. I don't even know his name. He's not a man to me. No one raised me. I have no father. I have no mother, only a sister. My sestrah, Yelena. She is my home in this earth, aside from you. It is okay though. I am certain she will be happy for me. We only spent three years together as a spy family even if she didn't know. I - I was pulled from that life by Barton, that's why he and I were close, why he was so fucking special to me. We had a night in a sewer. I- I knew I felt something for him then, but I knew he wanted a family, and I couldn't ever give him that.
My love changed across time, to that of a best friend, and I knew I'd never truly love as one might deserve anything - that's why you challenged all that, changed all that." She'd already blown up the Red Room as it was, and freed the majority of the widows like her all over the world when she did. It had taken a lot of work, and almost killed her, but she managed with the help of her pseudo-family.
"You could do it if anyone." She nuzzles him, and kisses him softly, cupping his cheek. "I'm so proud of you. So you found your person then? Who is this mysterious person who believed in you? It's a wondrous story for certain."
Perhaps that was what made them such a good team, such good partners, in life and love. They had much in common, yes, but they also could see so much good in the other, and were able to lift each other up, inspire and show them just how good they were. It could only lead to good, at least thatās what Loki thought. It was possible that Natasha living a shorter life changed that balance, but Loki didnāt think so. She was the way she was because of others in her life. Loki had done the things heād done because heād been a spoiled brat. Things had not been made better by his parentsā lies, but that didnāt mean he had to act as he had.
Or at least that was how it seemed until heād found out about Kangās plan for him. If anyone were truly to blame, it was him. Even if most of his variants had acted much worse, Loki knew that if heād tried to be better sooner, he just wouldāve been found by the TVA much earlier.
āI know. I just hate that someone that should care for you instead caused you such strife.ā There, of course, was also the part where Loki has some daddy issues still, but he didnāt think of it like that at the moment. āYou are a wonderful person, strong and dedicated. Not just anyone would be able to turn themselves around as you did, even if it did take some help. We all need help sometimes. But to think anyone treated you like that and put you in such a place. It fills me with anger.ā
Loki quieted as Natasha spoke of Clint. Guilt filled him as he remembered so clearly how he had used him for his own misdeeds. Even if much of that had been due to the staff and Thanos, Loki knew heād played his own part there. Heād hardly fought when the Other had found him after his fall from the Bifrost. A true hero would have.
āI am truly sorry for what I did to your friend. I do hope you know that. I hope it does not affect him attending our wedding.ā And not just because he wanted everyone who loved Natasha to come celebrate with her, but because he wished to apologize to the man face to face.
Loki held her closer as she asked of Mobius. He did miss his friend dearly. āHis name is Mobius and he is the last person you might expect I would be friends with. He appears rather boring, stiff and stuck in his ways, but there is so much more to him. I hope you will be able to meet him soon. I would love to have him stand by my side during our more public ceremony.ā Loki would tell her anything and everything about his friend that night. How he was the first person to really believe him and believe in him. In some ways, he had been like a real father to him, but mostly Loki just considered him the best friend anyone could have.
Perhaps that's why love is often interred in infinity symbols, because the heart sees the infinite possibilities in the other person. While Loki saw Natasha's childhood and wanted to raise arms against those who hurt her, and gave credit for the strength she willed to turn her life around, Natasha saw so much the same in the life that Loki lived. He had gone through many feats of endurance, and tragedies that people with hearts far greater might have given up, and given into the darkness that surrounded him, and the temptations of power and magic that was offered.
It was easy to take the cup and drink from it, and while Loki did it here and there, it was often with the driving need to be truly taken seriously, to be loved and noticed as the other members in his family did Thor. Natasha could see his heart now, and knew that there were light and dark in them both and for various reasons. However, the light cast out the seeds of darkness that had been sewn by lesser forces. Their demons played well together, as did their angels.
They fit so perfectly, their eternities were fated to wind together forever in a never ending loop of love, one to see the other as strong and the other there to help protect that what made them so. "I feel so much the same, my love. I dare say that I want to hurt those who cast you aside, who told you that you were anything less than the amazing man that I know you are. You are intelligent, cunning, and wise, even when you wish to ignore it at times." She teased him about the last part with a nose to his cheek. God she loved him.
Stroking her hand along his hip in a dancing circle, Natasha watched her fingers as he spoke of his regrets about Clint. She shook her head. The past was the past, and they both had their fingers in things they'd done wrong. "He will see and know that you are not the same. If I love you like this, he will know and stand at my side the same way your Mobius will stand beside yours."
Natasha had no strong female friends, and she'd rather have Clint at her side in her wedding over anyone else. The story of how Loki came to meet and know Mobius was incredible, and his time spent finding his purpose was terrifying, but also awe inspiring. If Natasha didn't already love him, she grew to love him more. "So, what happened then, in the end? Explain that part to me again? I don't get it all..." It was a little confusing -- the hows and whys of how he exactly saved the universes and ended up governing them all. She also was curious about her part in all this now.
Loki would appreciate such thoughts about him, but he doesnāt think they are warranted. He did give into the power. He had attacked Stuttgart and New York because Thanos had told him he could rule. He had taken the staff to have more power, to control the Chitauri. Though apparently he unknowingly had much of those powers already. He knows now that the staff had affected him, it had made him more susceptible to persuasion, something he had not previously thought possible. But infinity stones out in the world were nothing to trifle with.
He had also given into the darkness the moment heād let go of the Bifrost bridge, letting the Void take him. Heād believed, in that moment when it had become clear that Odin could never see his side, that he was nothing but a burden to his family and that letting go would be better than the eternity he would spend in the cells of Asgard.
She was right though. Deep down, those were the root causes of his reactions. His desperate need to be as loved and respected as his brother. It had always been a foolish pursuit though, he simply had not known it. Not that it would have mattered at all, not with how the TVA had been running things at the time.
As she speaks of what she sees in him, he canāt help but pull her closer, burying his face in her hair as he feels tears prick at his eyes. How long as he waited to hear such words? Mobius had started it by telling him he could be good, or anything he wanted to be, and Natasha has finished it with words that grip his heart, making him feel more loved than he ever couldāve expected. āI could not love you anymore than I do in this moment, my dear. Iā¦ thank you. You do not know what your words mean to me.ā
He pulls back then, giving her a bit of a watery smile as she speaks of Clint. āI do hope you are right. I was truly awful to him and I would not expect him to forgive me. I hope one day to be able to show him just how much I have changed though.ā
With a nod, he begins to explain, this time in detail. He goes over how Mobius recruited him from Renslayerās court, and all about Sylvie and everything sheād been doing. His betrayal of Mobius when he had no other option, discovering the truth of the TVA. How the Time Keepers were not real. The pain heād felt when Mobius had been pruned right in front of him just after heād finally believed. And so on, the fight with Kang and Sylvie, his journey back to the TVA, the time slipping. He left out no detail, including the sacrifice heād made and how hard it had been to watch Mobius and Sylvieās reaction as they realized what he was to do. And how much harder it had been to turn away and begin his job.
āIt was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It took a long time, if you can count it as time, for me to be able to do things like coming to visit you here. I have not brought myself to speak with any of them again as there is only one I can bring back with me, and I do not wish to disrupt their lives further. I only hope they are not too upset when I invite them to our wedding.ā
While Natasha knows of some of Loki's deeds, and the bits of his life that he's gone through she doesn't know the secrets of his darkest moments, the most painful things that he holds in his mind or his heart. She would yank them from his very soul if she could and take them upon herself to wear as her own. They both hold scars and brokenness. There's the stain of pain across each of them, and sacrifices have been and will be made in each of their lives. Natasha hasn't made hers yet, but it will be something so plain and simple for her-- a leap she knows will finally eliminate all the red in her ledger and allow her what she's always wanted, a way to give back all the lives she's taken. It will take the killer and turn her into something far greater. When the time comes for her to find out that part of her fate, she will rejoice for it.
That will come in the future, but for now she will cling to Loki as the one person who can see her and hold her through all her darkness-- knowing the light in her heart, and all the untapped potential, as she sees the exact same in him. She may not have known of all the things he had done yet, but she saw all that in him before he told her. Natasha knew that Loki was great enough to be the Lord of Time, before hearing how he became it.
When he pulls her in close and tells her of how much he loves her, she feels her own tears spring to her eyes because it is his love that brings her joy. It is in that love she finds herself most complete. "I never hoped to hear such words. I could never love you more than I do now, Loki. You have always been worthy of my love, and the fact that you love me like this only continues to show the person that you've become and that you are all those things that I've said. In you I am whole, my love."
Brushing his hair back, she holds his face in her hands and nods. "He will know. I promise. He can hold a grudge, but he will see what I do."
Listening to his tale only confirms every little detail that she already knew. It's wild and full of adventure. Parts of it are almost hard to believe. She laughs and cries, and is in awe of all that he's been through with the TVA. The tales of Sylvia, all the Lokis and Mobius. Oh dear goodness, Mobius. All the love and friendship between them, showed exactly how far Loki had come. He sacrificed so much in the loops of time that he went through trying to save everyone, and in the sacrifice he ultimately had to make. Natasha wrapped her arms tight about him by the end, kissing his face over and over. "You. I never knew that you've been through so much my love. That is ... I can barely believe it. How lucky I am that you came back here, and that you found me, and that you love me now. I don't even deserve this. Oh my Loki." She kisses him deeply, and completely, unseated by everything he's gone through, needing him more now than ever.
They truly are kindred spirits when it comes to past misdeeds and their reasons for them. Itās just another example of how they are truly meant for each other. Who else could truly love him and understand him the way she does? In that moment, he knows that he will tell her everything heās ever done or thought, good and bad, because he knows she will understand and still love him. Just as he will for her. The important part, truly, is that they have come through all of that. They are on the other side now and in much better places, places where they can be together and work together towards making all the worlds safe for everyone they care about and more.
In turn, Loki also thinks Natasha is the perfect person to rule by his side. He truly believes that it takes people with experiences like their own to do this job. They have the strength and the knowledge to understand that there should not be only one way to do things, and that is precisely why ensuring the health of the multiverse is a job they are both uniquely suited to.
Never before has Loki felt so in-tune with someone. When she speaks, itās like sheās echoing back to him exactly how he feels. Itās rather rare for him to be speechless, but that is exactly what she is doing to him. But for once, it isnāt something that bothers him. Heās secure in the knowledge that she understands him far beyond words. They are connected on such a deeper level than that. So much so that he feels like he need never say a word and she would understand.
As she cradles his face, he offers her a watery but honest smile. He believes her, of course, but he also canāt help but be worried about how his past might affect her. Loki knows she can handle anything that comes and that there is no need to worry about their own relationship, but that doesn't mean he wants to cause her any hardships with the others in her life that mean a lot to her. She deserves to have it all, love and her family.
āYou are the only one who knows the full extent of it. I suspect that Mobius and Sylvie had some idea of what I was doing in the time loops, but there was not enough time to explain before I left them. I only hope they can forgive me.ā In truth, he is pretty sure Mobius already knows and is fine with it, though Loki at least hope his friend misses him a bit. He honestly has no idea how Sylvie might react though. On one hand she is likely happy that he did what was right and she got the outcome she wanted, even if the TVA wasnāt exactly burned to the ground. But on the other hand, she could be quite volatile and they had not been on the best of terms more recently.
But for the moment, that didnāt matter because he had Natasha in his arms. He held her tight and kissed her for all the world, taking comfort in having her so close.
Pressing away any thoughts of tears from his eyes, Natasha knows that this latest part of his life hasn't been simple. The decision he had to make in the very end tore at his heart, even if it was the best for everyone. It had to hurt. He saved the timeline, but at a cost. All the best things come with a cost. She knows that so very well. "I know where your heart is, and I imagine that your closest friend would understand as well. He knows that your heart is a wide and remarkable place. You would be forgiven there. Sylvie... She is a wild card, but I'd like to hope that she would see happiness for what it is." There's a tender brush at his cheek as she says it.
Holding him tight, Natasha kisses him deeply, and brings her body in tight contact with his, wrapping her body around his. They've spent the majority of the evening talking and with her seared against him completely, she kisses at his neck, licking and running her teeth across it as the first bits of the morning begin to crest over the horizon. There are a million plans to make for the evening, but for now there's nothing that Natasha wants more than to be with Loki.
"What's your favorite thing to have done to you during sex?" She whispers against his chin, licking down along his adam's apple, sucking at the skin there softly, plying him forward into the mood. She knows that they have been enjoying soft intimacy for most the night, but if they are to part to get things ready for the wedding, Natasha would like to be with him one last time before the evening ends.
Itās a new thing really, realizing just how much feeling heās truly capable of. Heād always been emotional, of course, but heād also always done his best to try and hide it. Loki has always prided himself on being in control, even if that didnāt always jive with his need for chaos. The truth of it is, he has always wanted to have control, even if that is control over a chaotic situation heās created.
But the truth of it is, part of why heās always wanted control is because he always feels wildly out of control. When he was younger, much of the trouble he got into was due to loss of control over his emotions. He always felt hurt, left out, disrespected. Now that he knows better, or at least has had people around him that he knows care, heās found it easier to sit in his own emotions and release them in a healthier way. As such, he can take their words for what they are, the truth. āI know you are correct. I am sure they will both forgive, and probably have already. I know they care and want me to be happy as much as I wish that for them. I just worry. They were my first real friends and losing them was very hard.ā
He relaxes fully as they kiss. One thing heās learning quite quickly is that she has that ability with him, to almost instantly calm him, making him feel better quickly. Itās a feat only she is able to accomplish and he could never thank her enough.
āMy favourite thing?ā His voice comes out low, rough and honestly thoughtful. He sighs softly, a little distracted by her mouth even as he tries to answer the question. It doesnāt take long for him to have an answer come to mind, but itās not something heās often (or ever) told anyone outright before. āWould you believe I like it when my partner takes control? Tied up and fucked to within an inch of my life. Itās one of the few ways Iāve found I can simply let go.ā
After taking her time to assuage him that his friends- both of them should be there for him. She figures she's going to figure out some way to have a woman to woman/loki talk with Sylvie one day before the formal wedding and figure out the best way to get her there. Mobius, the way Loki talked about him, the fondness of tone and voice. Nat has this feeling that he's like her Clint. In another lifetime they might have been more, and it makes her smile and feel only a slightly bit jealous and possessive over her man. How can she not feel that way. He is her perfection personified, and to her Loki is everything, and there are times her brain still panders back and forth feeling like she's not enough.
Listening to him softly admit that he'd like domination more than anything else has her smiling. It's an easy thing. Natasha knows that she's secretly longed for it before. Trusting another person with something so deeply relenting and more, isn't easy. There's a long that they both can give one another that they might not be able to have with another person. Inhaling, Natasha licks over her lips and moves over to flick her tongue against his nipple. "Tied up, hm? I think I've got something that will work for now. It's not going to be the best you've ever had, but it'll do in the moment. I've got a few things that will work for now until we can place a few online orders. "
Biting at his nipple, she kisses it softly and gets up to move naked across the room to her closet and in a drawer in there, she pulls out a long length of red ribbon, and several toys, and a little bit of flavored lube, along with some sturdier stuff. Laying it all out on the bed, she lets Loki go over it all. "Red, Yellow? for safe words, just in case?"
Really, she doesnāt have anything to worry about. Maybe once there had been a spark with Mobius almost as much as there had been with Sylvie, but that had had more to do with how he was at the time. Besides, that was hundreds of years ago and might as well be a million. He only has eyes for her just as she only has eyes for him.
When he sees her smile, he canāt help but smile as well. Itās not something heās sure he ever wouldāve admitted to anyone, but she isnāt just anyone. He trusts her with his life, and he most definitely trusts her with this even if he is somehow still just a little bit embarrassed. It really has nothing to do with her and everything to do with his own issues. Though at the moment, with the way sheās looking at him, he no longer cares.
Her tongue hits his nipple and he canāt stop his gasp. āFor now?ā His words come out breathlessly as he looks at her with dark eyes. Anything will do, so far as heās concerned. Itās not something heās ever considered, trying to buy toys like that. Of course, heās never had anyone before that he trusts this much, that he would want to do these things with over and over again. So maybe a bit of shopping isnāt the worst idea.
He gasps again at the sharp bite and arches up into it before he can stop himself. When she leaves the bed, he crosses his arms behind his head so he can watch her as she moves. No one moves like she does and he thinks maybe he could be happy simply being able to watch her move for the rest of time. Heās only distracted by the selections sheās laid out for him. She has quite the collection and Loki finds himself running a hand over them. His eye keeps coming back to a particular paddle and a not exactly small dildo, though itās not the largest either. āYes, I have heard of that method before. I believe it will work well.ā
Possessiveness is not something that Natasha knows how to change or help with when it comes to the man lying out on the bed right now. It's already deeply embedded in her psyche and the very core of her being. She is deeply attached, and if she could become one with him in any permanent way, she would-- their marks will most certainly help with this, she's beginning to realize. It won't ever lessen the look in her eyes, however when she gazes at him in his naked glory. He is her god, her blasphemous savior in this galaxy and every other. He's the one who taught her love, and what it is to know what it is to be completely known and know another.
Running her hands along his body in various ways, Natasha smirks. "Yes, my love, for now. We will do this many times and in many ways. If you like being taken over and tied up, then I will find ways to possess you so that you only remember my name, and that I am your Queen." Sucking deeply on the nipple she'd taken, Natasha sat back, and then when she returned, she ran her fingers over a long strand of purple ribbon. "I need you either on your knees or your stomach, with your arms behind you for this part. It will take me a few minutes to get it proper, but when I have it right, I will tie your legs to the base of the bed. I have small hooks down there."
Nat could have stretched him out spread eagle before her, but she wanted to give him a small modicum of being bound but still comforted by the knowledge he was tied inward. It could be very comforting against the anxiety of being taken over while having no control. Natasha might not have done things like this often, because having the right partner was important, but she had studied the art of bondage deeply. "You are so beautiful. This is going to make it hard to resist fucking you right off the bat."
Loki has no intention of trying to change her. He enjoys the possessiveness that he sees in her eyes, mostly because he feels the same way about her. He would not have agreed to something like their markings if he did not. He simply does not want her to feel jealous, because there is absolutely no reason for it. It might not have been that long that they have been together, but she is the only one for him and he canāt ever see that changing.
āI will hold you to that.ā He grins cheekily. āI very much cannot wait to see you do exactly that.ā He suspects it will not take much to get him to that state, at least not with her taking charge. Natasha in control might be one of his best and most prominent fantasies. She really can do anything she wants to him, and heāll love every last second of it.
Without further comment, except perhaps for the deep moan that escapes him when she bites harder at his nipple, he rolls over onto his stomach. He doesnāt mind the idea of kneeling, at least not for her, but this feels like the better option to him right now. Loki has probably never been this docile before, this obedient as he puts his arms behind his back and waits for her, even has his erection grows, pressing almost uncomfortably into the bed beneath him. He shivers at the mention of his legs being tied to the bed, a combination of nervousness and anticipation.
One day, he hopes she does that exact thing. Stretching him out across their bed, putting him on full display for her pleasure. The idea is rather enticing. But for now heās thrilled with how things are going. Loki canāt help but wiggle his ass at her, a smile on his face with his head tilted to the side to try and see her. āOh darling, you can fuck me anytime you want.ā
Watching the man she loves, the one who is already tied up so tightly to her identity that she wouldn't know what to do if she lost him, Natasha can feel the delight that simmers so close to the surface of his body. It's written all over his countenance and in the minuscule ways he moves when she tells him what to do. How can she not be utterly turned on by everything she sees before her?
Stroking her hands over his flesh, Natasha purrs out her approval when Loki flips over. "Then we will see what I end up torturing you with this morning." Her fingers pause at the dip behind his knees. She runs smooth digits against the sensitive skin there, bowing so that she can lick along the aperture with a smile. Loki will feel nothing until her tongue meets the small of his back. She traces his spine, every curve, and knot with her tongue, coating it with layers of saliva. Natasha isn't quiet about her enjoyment either; she's sloppy and loud with moans and soft whimpers.
Girding herself, she stops before touching the back of his neck. There, she sits up and goes to his ankles. She has simple bindings that hook to the bed and wrap around them. Delicate kisses are placed on each ankle bone before it's shackled. "There, comfortable; pull on it and make sure there's no real pain." She wants him to be able to tug at them without real pain, only enough so that he knows he's bound. When he is settled exactly right, Nat moves to his hands and begins the work of a beautiful bit of ribbon work. It's simple in comparison to what she could do, but it suits her need and makes him feel the tightness of being bound, safe.
"Fuck you are so beautiful like this. I want to do everything to you."
Itās something he knows with all his being that he loves her and trusts her more than anyone else. Trust doesnāt come easy for him, but with her it feels natural, like heās always trusted her. And maybe he has. Maybe itās just a sign of how they were meant to be together.
All conscious thought leaves him as he begins to feel the gentle and teasing touch of her fingers and then the not so subtle use of her tongue. He canāt help but squirm and moan as she works her tongue all over his spine.
His mind is blank when he suddenly feels the bindings around his ankles. Heās never let anyone do this to him before and itās even more of a turn on than he expected. Though some of that might be due to how attracted he is to Natasha. He shivers as he tugs at the bindings and finds he really canāt move very much. āThey are perfect.ā
Running her fingers over and along the dip of Loki's back and the curve of his ass, she smiles wickedly. This position is one of control but also profound responsibility. Natasha is in charge of Loki's pleasure and of making sure that in offering him all the pleasure he wants, she doesn't hurt him. She rubs her hand in a circle around the smooth globe of one ass cheek and then smacks it. "Mmm, look at that beautiful color pink. Did you like that?"
Licking over her lips, she does it again and then moves across the room to get a few things. He can hear her rummaging about. She comes back with several toys. It's been a long time since she's been with a man who enjoys anal penetration. She likes it and has some things to play with, but only one toy is for a man. She'll have to remedy that soon. Already she has plans for a harness for herself so she can fuck him sometime soon, as they talked about. This will be close enough for now.
Reaching between his legs, Nat runs her thumb across his entrance and watches how it puckers for her, dimpling in and out. "Fuck, you are so hot like this, all spread out. I think you're going to enjoy this." Her heart speeds up, and her stomach twists to let her know precisely how worked up she is over it all. Natasha takes a small silver training wand and lubes it up. She's not cruel. "Let's see how this is to start with."
Itās a responsibility Loki trusts her with implicitly. No one else has ever or will ever be allowed to have this much power over him. It almost scares him, how easily he trusts her but honestly, it comes naturally to him. He canāt imagine not letting her do this, not letting her see just how much he wants this. It is for her eyes only though.
The sudden smack to his ass causes him to gasp and moan. He nods fervently, still a little stunned at just how much he does like it. If he hadnāt already been hard, he is now. His hips grind against the bed as she smacks him again. His cheeks heat up and he presses his face into the cool sheets beneath him. Heās not exactly embarrassed, though the feeling he has is quite akin to that.
He canāt stop the whine that escapes his throat as he hears her move away. Itās slightly stifled as heās still face down, but itās still rather audible. She might only be gone for a few seconds, but itās a few seconds too long.
Another muffled gasp escapes him as he feels her thumb press against his hole. He turns his head back to the side, panting for air. It has been a long time since heās let someone do any of this and he has missed it more than he anticipated. Of course, itās made all the better by the fact that itās Natasha doing it for him. He can only sort of see what she's preparing, but he doesnāt really care. Whatever it is, heās sure sheās right. Heās going to enjoy everything she does to him.
Looking around the room, Natasha anticipates needing a slightly better vantage than the one she has and grabs a pillow from the floor. "Here, my love, lift your hips and put this under your pelvis. It will give you a little something to grind into and give me easier access to this beautiful asshole of yours. Fuck, I can't wait to ..." She trails off while she waits for him to get adjusted.
It takes a few seconds, really, and with him neatly spread and open for her, she leans in and licks across his hole. It was far too much a temptation to keep away. Natasha is a highly oral person. She loves to taste and touch every part of her lover. That includes lavishing Loki's entrance with several long, sloppy licks. She adds extra saliva each time, getting him sopping wet before she drills her tongue into the tight muscles that push back against the forced intrusion. She knows the nerves there are incredibly sensitive, and despite the argument of his body, there should be pleasure if she plays her role to perfection. "Fuck, you taste so damn good."
Lapping and licking up and around his dancing hole, she moans softly. Unable to keep herself from it, Natasha pushes a finger up to her knuckle. It's tight, and she knows that her saliva is hardly lubed enough, but she wants him to feel how wound up she is. She dips the finger back into her pussy and then brings it up to slide inside him. Her wetness is a lovely lubricant for his body. It moves past the knuckle and twists as she moves to make room inside him for what more will eventually come. "Feel that, that's me, that's how wet you make me doing this. My wetness inside you."
The tone of her voice is evidence enough for him to know just how much sheās enjoying this. That, in turn, heightens his own pleasure. He groans softly as the pillow is placed under his hips and he canāt help but give in and grind into it already. He was hard the moment she restrained him and honestly, heās pretty sure even if he came right now, heād still be hard.
The whole scene is everything he couldāve hoped for, everything heās ever wanted and never trusted anyone enough to do for him. Not until now, with Natasha at least. Even still, with his ass now elevated and the way heās spread with his limbs all restrained, he canāt help but feel exposed. And oh, what a delicious feeling it is.
For some reason, despite how heās currently positioned, he did not expect the feel of her warm, wet tongue at his hole. He gasps and the sound quickly turns into a moan as he already begins to struggle against his restraints. He has a little room to move, but not much and the feeling of helplessness as he realizes sheās in full control only heightens his pleasure.
Then her tongue penetrates him and his eyes fly open as he pushes back against the intrusion as best he can. Itās been a very long time since heās even considered doing anything like this and it is so much better than he ever couldāve anticipated. āOh gods, Natasha, fuck.ā He knows he already sounds a bit desperate, and normally, maybe heād been a little embarrassed by that, but not this time. Not now. Not with her.
With only her saliva, itās a little dry and thereās the smallest bit of pain, but itās a perfect pain, one Loki likes maybe a little too much. Heās too distracted by that thought to really realize at first that when she tries again, her finger is much more slick. He shivers and moans again as she tells him exactly what sheās done and his hips buck of their own volition. His cock is hard and leaking where itās pressed between his abdomen and the pillow.
āGood thing I am yours to do with as you please then,ā he manages to gasp out as he continues to try and press back into her finger, wanting to feel more and deeper.
There's a twist in her gut every single time that Loki makes a sound, which has Nat wishing she had the equiptment to fuck him hard and deep. She's never had a man trussed up like this before her. There's never been a moment where she's wanted to press her tongue against an ass and taste all the clean flavors and deep musks from that tiny twisting hole. It's an entirely new desire and sensation, and yet Nat can't get enough.
There's something deeply personal about the way Loki lets her in, and allows her this much intimacy. She could get off by merely squeezing her thighs together tightly over and over. Hell, she might have an orgasm without truly being touched. Her body is thrumming with pleasure. "Fuck, love. I feel like we were meant to share each other like this, and every other way. You make me wish I had the right equipment to fuck you for real."
Natasha leans in and takes a moment to suck up a dark mark along the globe of his ass. It's beautiful because it's hers. It doesn't matter that it disappears. She knows where she's been, and where her finger is. Twisting it around, she continues to fuck him with it for a little while, and then pulls it out and dips both fingers inside herself. Who needs a bottle of lube when her body works perfectly well for this part. He doesn't need to be opened up by any training dildo as of yet. She could use her own, but this is so much more intimate, and she gets to feel inside him.
"Thats me again, more for you. I'm so wet, and my body is so tight, that I could probably get off just squeezing my legs together and thinking about what I'm doing to you. Fuck, you feel that. I want to be fucking you, each time I stick my fingers in, that's my cock, fuck, you're going to have my cock soon. I know you can't wait."
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blackhourglass) wrote2024-02-20 10:36 am
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Watching Loki press his face into the pillow makes Natasha laugh softly with him. He's so beautiful, and maybe he knows a part of it, but because she's fallen so deeply for him it only makes him that much more attractive to her. There is not another male or female out there that will ever compare to the star that he is in her sky. Nuzzling against his shoulder, his neck, she curls under his chin and inhales deeply, breathing Loki in and making him the very air she needed to survive. He was her salvation, her world, inside and out and there was nothing that would change that. "You are so much to me, and I still keep wanting to pinch myself to make sure all this is real. I mean, morning can't come soon enough. I need to be bound to you already."
Sighing softly, she lifted her head so she could look at him, taking in all the closeness implied by the way they kiss one another. She laughed again, shaking her head. "You caused a hell of a ruckus with that I'm sure. So they arrested you? I mean, if that's what they do. Does it happen a lot? Do people screw up the timeline a lot? I know we are, but wow.. I never thought about it..."
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He doesnāt know about being beautiful, especially next to someone as exquisite as she is. Again, heās aware that some find him attractive, but to him beauty is so much more than looks. Natasha isnāt just gorgeous to look at, sheās beautiful inside. Loki is aware that she might not know that based on some of her history, but heāll make it one of his goals to show her just how beautiful she is. He knows just how much she has devoted to making things better in her world, how much she has done for friends and family and really, her universe at large. She is truly an outstanding person that he could not be any less proud of.
As she curls into him, he shifts and wraps an arm around her, holding her close. He feels so at peace in her arms, and he knows that she will always be home to him. No matter what their future may hold, she will be his constant. āI feel the same, my love. I almost wish I felt tired so we could pass the time more quickly by sleeping, but I feel more energized than ever before. I am a buzz with excitement and how much I love you.ā
Turning with her as she shifts, Loki smiles at her in return. āYes, they arrested me. And it is what they did at the time. It was a fairly common occurrence, though it was more common for certain types. As you can imagine, someone like myself is more apt to go against the grain, as it were. I met plenty of my own variants, but I imagine you would not be surprised that I did not see a single Steve Rogers.ā
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Pressing her breasts against his chest, she finds comfort in the hardness of his body and in the way he's sculpted against her curves. Their legs curve together perfectly, and she knows that they will always match together in every other aspect as well. No matter what they do, it will always be this way. "I'm sure if we get bored, we'll manage to make it pass more quickly. I have my stories, but somehow I have this feeling that you know them. At least most of my barriers are gone. You've melted them all away." She kissed along the edges of his lips, and then down along his chin and across his chest where she'd been resting her head. He was beautiful because she loved him, and in her eye that was all that mattered. He could have been an ogre and she still would have found him as beautiful as a golden sun.
She laughed against his skin. "Steve. I bet he might have changed a few timelines after he went after Peggy. I still think there has to be at least one where he didn't leave Bucky." She always wondered if he would have stayed if Bucky asked him to. They had done so much for one another, and their friendship was sometimes beyond that of two friends, platonic soulmates she often thought of them. "Not that it matters. So, you were a wild and crazy thing, and had a thrilling ride through the timelines? Meeting yourself? That had to be awkward."
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He sighs, contented as he feels her press against him. There truly is no better feeling that lying there with her, entwined and relaxed as they talk of their plans and their future together. āI cannot imagine being bored with you around, but I do imagine there are ways to make the time pass more quickly.ā Plenty of fun and interesting ways, heās quite sure. āI do know your stories, but I do not know them from your perspective. I would love to hear your thoughts on anything you wish to tell me about.ā It wasnāt the same, seeing something from a distance and getting someoneās personal view. He also thinks that it would help him know her even better, if that is even possible.
āYou would think so, but apparently all of that was āsupposedā to happen.ā The quotes are practically audible in his tone. Mostly Loki has let his issues with He Who Remained go, but it still bothers him just a little bit that the Avengers were allowed certain concessions that others were not. But that is why he does what he does. So that everyone has the same options and opportunities without the threat of a multiversal war. āOh, there are plenty now where he doesnāt leave Bucky. Sometimes they simply remain friends, others where they are more. It is quite interesting. Plenty I had not expected from the Captain. I was glad to find he has so much more going on inside him that it appears on the outside. He laughs then and nods. āIt was more frustrating than awkward. I really did not know how annoying I can be.ā
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In this direction, he was the match to her soul and somehow lifted her from the mire of her life. He allowed her to see that she could move beyond that without dying a death for the universe. She found a purpose and meaning that would allow her to remove all that sticky red business from her ledger within him, and he filled her without a second thought. Already within him, she felt more pure than she had ever found herself feeling before. Maybe it was because they'd both been through it, and they were perfect for one another. Their bodies knew it and their love did, because it would encompass so much.
"Then I will start from the beginning. My father gave me away to the Red Room, sold me rather so that I could train to become a soviet spy, a super soviet spy. They took advantage of me in every way imaginable. They used my body, my mind, and my preyed on my emotions. I became the ultimate actor, seductress, and killer from a young age. They used their equipment to give me false memories, some I still have here in my brain. I know how to dance like a ballerina, although I never was one. They killed my mother for the simple act of looking for me." She moved against him, finding it easier to tell the story if he was even more flush against her body, as if they could be any closer. Maybe it would be easier if he was already inside her. Running her body against his, Nat sighed softly.
"And you, you broke time and then put it back together again? Did you almost destroy the world while you were fixing it. I know you had to have gotten in trouble once you got to the time agency. That's the only way any one could ever reform you the way they have." Natasha was carefully wise, and brushed her fingers through his hair, laughing a little when he mentioned how annoying he could be. "We can all be annoying when we choose to, my love."
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But they had, and as a result, they had both learned and grown and now they got to impart their wisdom on the whole multiverse, even if most people never knew what they did for them. Loki didnāt need that kind of recognition anymore and he suspects that Natasha never did.
What he does suspect though, is that they both were good people underneath it all and always had been. He has just as much red in his ledger as she does, they only came about it differently. In fact, he thinks she has always been a much better person than he has been. A lot of what brought the red for Loki was his own spoiled nature. Sure, there had been reasons behind some of his actions. Odin and even Frigga had not been faultless in how Loki had acted, but Loki also now knew how to take responsibility for his own actions. Itās one of the many reasons why he thrives in his current role. Itās finally a chance for him to truly redeem himself.
Something he knows Natasha wants as well, even if he doesnāt think she needs it, not after all she has done for the Earth as an Avenger.
She doesnāt need to ask, he pulls her closer without even thinking about it as she tells her story. He knew the basics, that she was a Russian spy, and had been trained from a very young age, but that her father had sold her, or her mother was killed for trying to find her. Those things Loki had not gone looking for. He was fully capable of seeing the lives of anyone and everyone he knew, but mostly he let everyone keep their privacy, only looking in on his friends every now and then, ostensibly to keep an eye on them, but really because he missed them.
āIs it wrong that I would like to find the right place in time and murder your father for such a crime?ā He knows full well that he wouldnāt have Natasha like this if such things had not happened, but he also hates the idea of anyone hurting her. He also has a mind to go blow up a couple of Red Rooms. And not just for her, but for everyone they tortured like that.
Loki laughs then, relaxing again as the topic of their conversation changes back to that of the TVA. āOf course I almost broke time. On more than one occasion really, but really most of my redemption is due to one person. Apparently, all I needed was one person to believe in me. Though I still very much tested him. It also didnāt hurt being taken away from everyone and everything that had me feeling as I did. That separation allowed me to clear my mind and figure out what I actually wanted and believed. Strange how these things work, isnāt it?ā
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Giving it all up to work and somehow maintain the balance of the universe sounds magical to Natasha. It is a way to bring about wonder in her life while relinquishing the bonds that have held her tight for so long.
"My father is long gone, I think. I don't even know his name. He's not a man to me. No one raised me. I have no father. I have no mother, only a sister. My sestrah, Yelena. She is my home in this earth, aside from you. It is okay though. I am certain she will be happy for me. We only spent three years together as a spy family even if she didn't know. I - I was pulled from that life by Barton, that's why he and I were close, why he was so fucking special to me. We had a night in a sewer. I- I knew I felt something for him then, but I knew he wanted a family, and I couldn't ever give him that.
My love changed across time, to that of a best friend, and I knew I'd never truly love as one might deserve anything - that's why you challenged all that, changed all that." She'd already blown up the Red Room as it was, and freed the majority of the widows like her all over the world when she did. It had taken a lot of work, and almost killed her, but she managed with the help of her pseudo-family.
"You could do it if anyone." She nuzzles him, and kisses him softly, cupping his cheek. "I'm so proud of you. So you found your person then? Who is this mysterious person who believed in you? It's a wondrous story for certain."
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Or at least that was how it seemed until heād found out about Kangās plan for him. If anyone were truly to blame, it was him. Even if most of his variants had acted much worse, Loki knew that if heād tried to be better sooner, he just wouldāve been found by the TVA much earlier.
āI know. I just hate that someone that should care for you instead caused you such strife.ā There, of course, was also the part where Loki has some daddy issues still, but he didnāt think of it like that at the moment. āYou are a wonderful person, strong and dedicated. Not just anyone would be able to turn themselves around as you did, even if it did take some help. We all need help sometimes. But to think anyone treated you like that and put you in such a place. It fills me with anger.ā
Loki quieted as Natasha spoke of Clint. Guilt filled him as he remembered so clearly how he had used him for his own misdeeds. Even if much of that had been due to the staff and Thanos, Loki knew heād played his own part there. Heād hardly fought when the Other had found him after his fall from the Bifrost. A true hero would have.
āI am truly sorry for what I did to your friend. I do hope you know that. I hope it does not affect him attending our wedding.ā And not just because he wanted everyone who loved Natasha to come celebrate with her, but because he wished to apologize to the man face to face.
Loki held her closer as she asked of Mobius. He did miss his friend dearly. āHis name is Mobius and he is the last person you might expect I would be friends with. He appears rather boring, stiff and stuck in his ways, but there is so much more to him. I hope you will be able to meet him soon. I would love to have him stand by my side during our more public ceremony.ā Loki would tell her anything and everything about his friend that night. How he was the first person to really believe him and believe in him. In some ways, he had been like a real father to him, but mostly Loki just considered him the best friend anyone could have.
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It was easy to take the cup and drink from it, and while Loki did it here and there, it was often with the driving need to be truly taken seriously, to be loved and noticed as the other members in his family did Thor. Natasha could see his heart now, and knew that there were light and dark in them both and for various reasons. However, the light cast out the seeds of darkness that had been sewn by lesser forces. Their demons played well together, as did their angels.
They fit so perfectly, their eternities were fated to wind together forever in a never ending loop of love, one to see the other as strong and the other there to help protect that what made them so. "I feel so much the same, my love. I dare say that I want to hurt those who cast you aside, who told you that you were anything less than the amazing man that I know you are. You are intelligent, cunning, and wise, even when you wish to ignore it at times." She teased him about the last part with a nose to his cheek. God she loved him.
Stroking her hand along his hip in a dancing circle, Natasha watched her fingers as he spoke of his regrets about Clint. She shook her head. The past was the past, and they both had their fingers in things they'd done wrong. "He will see and know that you are not the same. If I love you like this, he will know and stand at my side the same way your Mobius will stand beside yours."
Natasha had no strong female friends, and she'd rather have Clint at her side in her wedding over anyone else. The story of how Loki came to meet and know Mobius was incredible, and his time spent finding his purpose was terrifying, but also awe inspiring. If Natasha didn't already love him, she grew to love him more. "So, what happened then, in the end? Explain that part to me again? I don't get it all..." It was a little confusing -- the hows and whys of how he exactly saved the universes and ended up governing them all. She also was curious about her part in all this now.
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He had also given into the darkness the moment heād let go of the Bifrost bridge, letting the Void take him. Heād believed, in that moment when it had become clear that Odin could never see his side, that he was nothing but a burden to his family and that letting go would be better than the eternity he would spend in the cells of Asgard.
She was right though. Deep down, those were the root causes of his reactions. His desperate need to be as loved and respected as his brother. It had always been a foolish pursuit though, he simply had not known it. Not that it would have mattered at all, not with how the TVA had been running things at the time.
As she speaks of what she sees in him, he canāt help but pull her closer, burying his face in her hair as he feels tears prick at his eyes. How long as he waited to hear such words? Mobius had started it by telling him he could be good, or anything he wanted to be, and Natasha has finished it with words that grip his heart, making him feel more loved than he ever couldāve expected. āI could not love you anymore than I do in this moment, my dear. Iā¦ thank you. You do not know what your words mean to me.ā
He pulls back then, giving her a bit of a watery smile as she speaks of Clint. āI do hope you are right. I was truly awful to him and I would not expect him to forgive me. I hope one day to be able to show him just how much I have changed though.ā
With a nod, he begins to explain, this time in detail. He goes over how Mobius recruited him from Renslayerās court, and all about Sylvie and everything sheād been doing. His betrayal of Mobius when he had no other option, discovering the truth of the TVA. How the Time Keepers were not real. The pain heād felt when Mobius had been pruned right in front of him just after heād finally believed. And so on, the fight with Kang and Sylvie, his journey back to the TVA, the time slipping. He left out no detail, including the sacrifice heād made and how hard it had been to watch Mobius and Sylvieās reaction as they realized what he was to do. And how much harder it had been to turn away and begin his job.
āIt was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It took a long time, if you can count it as time, for me to be able to do things like coming to visit you here. I have not brought myself to speak with any of them again as there is only one I can bring back with me, and I do not wish to disrupt their lives further. I only hope they are not too upset when I invite them to our wedding.ā
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That will come in the future, but for now she will cling to Loki as the one person who can see her and hold her through all her darkness-- knowing the light in her heart, and all the untapped potential, as she sees the exact same in him. She may not have known of all the things he had done yet, but she saw all that in him before he told her. Natasha knew that Loki was great enough to be the Lord of Time, before hearing how he became it.
When he pulls her in close and tells her of how much he loves her, she feels her own tears spring to her eyes because it is his love that brings her joy. It is in that love she finds herself most complete. "I never hoped to hear such words. I could never love you more than I do now, Loki. You have always been worthy of my love, and the fact that you love me like this only continues to show the person that you've become and that you are all those things that I've said. In you I am whole, my love."
Brushing his hair back, she holds his face in her hands and nods. "He will know. I promise. He can hold a grudge, but he will see what I do."
Listening to his tale only confirms every little detail that she already knew. It's wild and full of adventure. Parts of it are almost hard to believe. She laughs and cries, and is in awe of all that he's been through with the TVA. The tales of Sylvia, all the Lokis and Mobius. Oh dear goodness, Mobius. All the love and friendship between them, showed exactly how far Loki had come. He sacrificed so much in the loops of time that he went through trying to save everyone, and in the sacrifice he ultimately had to make. Natasha wrapped her arms tight about him by the end, kissing his face over and over. "You. I never knew that you've been through so much my love. That is ... I can barely believe it. How lucky I am that you came back here, and that you found me, and that you love me now. I don't even deserve this. Oh my Loki." She kisses him deeply, and completely, unseated by everything he's gone through, needing him more now than ever.
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In turn, Loki also thinks Natasha is the perfect person to rule by his side. He truly believes that it takes people with experiences like their own to do this job. They have the strength and the knowledge to understand that there should not be only one way to do things, and that is precisely why ensuring the health of the multiverse is a job they are both uniquely suited to.
Never before has Loki felt so in-tune with someone. When she speaks, itās like sheās echoing back to him exactly how he feels. Itās rather rare for him to be speechless, but that is exactly what she is doing to him. But for once, it isnāt something that bothers him. Heās secure in the knowledge that she understands him far beyond words. They are connected on such a deeper level than that. So much so that he feels like he need never say a word and she would understand.
As she cradles his face, he offers her a watery but honest smile. He believes her, of course, but he also canāt help but be worried about how his past might affect her. Loki knows she can handle anything that comes and that there is no need to worry about their own relationship, but that doesn't mean he wants to cause her any hardships with the others in her life that mean a lot to her. She deserves to have it all, love and her family.
āYou are the only one who knows the full extent of it. I suspect that Mobius and Sylvie had some idea of what I was doing in the time loops, but there was not enough time to explain before I left them. I only hope they can forgive me.ā In truth, he is pretty sure Mobius already knows and is fine with it, though Loki at least hope his friend misses him a bit. He honestly has no idea how Sylvie might react though. On one hand she is likely happy that he did what was right and she got the outcome she wanted, even if the TVA wasnāt exactly burned to the ground. But on the other hand, she could be quite volatile and they had not been on the best of terms more recently.
But for the moment, that didnāt matter because he had Natasha in his arms. He held her tight and kissed her for all the world, taking comfort in having her so close.
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Holding him tight, Natasha kisses him deeply, and brings her body in tight contact with his, wrapping her body around his. They've spent the majority of the evening talking and with her seared against him completely, she kisses at his neck, licking and running her teeth across it as the first bits of the morning begin to crest over the horizon. There are a million plans to make for the evening, but for now there's nothing that Natasha wants more than to be with Loki.
"What's your favorite thing to have done to you during sex?" She whispers against his chin, licking down along his adam's apple, sucking at the skin there softly, plying him forward into the mood. She knows that they have been enjoying soft intimacy for most the night, but if they are to part to get things ready for the wedding, Natasha would like to be with him one last time before the evening ends.
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But the truth of it is, part of why heās always wanted control is because he always feels wildly out of control. When he was younger, much of the trouble he got into was due to loss of control over his emotions. He always felt hurt, left out, disrespected. Now that he knows better, or at least has had people around him that he knows care, heās found it easier to sit in his own emotions and release them in a healthier way. As such, he can take their words for what they are, the truth. āI know you are correct. I am sure they will both forgive, and probably have already. I know they care and want me to be happy as much as I wish that for them. I just worry. They were my first real friends and losing them was very hard.ā
He relaxes fully as they kiss. One thing heās learning quite quickly is that she has that ability with him, to almost instantly calm him, making him feel better quickly. Itās a feat only she is able to accomplish and he could never thank her enough.
āMy favourite thing?ā His voice comes out low, rough and honestly thoughtful. He sighs softly, a little distracted by her mouth even as he tries to answer the question. It doesnāt take long for him to have an answer come to mind, but itās not something heās often (or ever) told anyone outright before. āWould you believe I like it when my partner takes control? Tied up and fucked to within an inch of my life. Itās one of the few ways Iāve found I can simply let go.ā
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Listening to him softly admit that he'd like domination more than anything else has her smiling. It's an easy thing. Natasha knows that she's secretly longed for it before. Trusting another person with something so deeply relenting and more, isn't easy. There's a long that they both can give one another that they might not be able to have with another person. Inhaling, Natasha licks over her lips and moves over to flick her tongue against his nipple. "Tied up, hm? I think I've got something that will work for now. It's not going to be the best you've ever had, but it'll do in the moment. I've got a few things that will work for now until we can place a few online orders. "
Biting at his nipple, she kisses it softly and gets up to move naked across the room to her closet and in a drawer in there, she pulls out a long length of red ribbon, and several toys, and a little bit of flavored lube, along with some sturdier stuff. Laying it all out on the bed, she lets Loki go over it all. "Red, Yellow? for safe words, just in case?"
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When he sees her smile, he canāt help but smile as well. Itās not something heās sure he ever wouldāve admitted to anyone, but she isnāt just anyone. He trusts her with his life, and he most definitely trusts her with this even if he is somehow still just a little bit embarrassed. It really has nothing to do with her and everything to do with his own issues. Though at the moment, with the way sheās looking at him, he no longer cares.
Her tongue hits his nipple and he canāt stop his gasp. āFor now?ā His words come out breathlessly as he looks at her with dark eyes. Anything will do, so far as heās concerned. Itās not something heās ever considered, trying to buy toys like that. Of course, heās never had anyone before that he trusts this much, that he would want to do these things with over and over again. So maybe a bit of shopping isnāt the worst idea.
He gasps again at the sharp bite and arches up into it before he can stop himself. When she leaves the bed, he crosses his arms behind his head so he can watch her as she moves. No one moves like she does and he thinks maybe he could be happy simply being able to watch her move for the rest of time. Heās only distracted by the selections sheās laid out for him. She has quite the collection and Loki finds himself running a hand over them. His eye keeps coming back to a particular paddle and a not exactly small dildo, though itās not the largest either. āYes, I have heard of that method before. I believe it will work well.ā
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Running her hands along his body in various ways, Natasha smirks. "Yes, my love, for now. We will do this many times and in many ways. If you like being taken over and tied up, then I will find ways to possess you so that you only remember my name, and that I am your Queen." Sucking deeply on the nipple she'd taken, Natasha sat back, and then when she returned, she ran her fingers over a long strand of purple ribbon. "I need you either on your knees or your stomach, with your arms behind you for this part. It will take me a few minutes to get it proper, but when I have it right, I will tie your legs to the base of the bed. I have small hooks down there."
Nat could have stretched him out spread eagle before her, but she wanted to give him a small modicum of being bound but still comforted by the knowledge he was tied inward. It could be very comforting against the anxiety of being taken over while having no control. Natasha might not have done things like this often, because having the right partner was important, but she had studied the art of bondage deeply. "You are so beautiful. This is going to make it hard to resist fucking you right off the bat."
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āI will hold you to that.ā He grins cheekily. āI very much cannot wait to see you do exactly that.ā He suspects it will not take much to get him to that state, at least not with her taking charge. Natasha in control might be one of his best and most prominent fantasies. She really can do anything she wants to him, and heāll love every last second of it.
Without further comment, except perhaps for the deep moan that escapes him when she bites harder at his nipple, he rolls over onto his stomach. He doesnāt mind the idea of kneeling, at least not for her, but this feels like the better option to him right now. Loki has probably never been this docile before, this obedient as he puts his arms behind his back and waits for her, even has his erection grows, pressing almost uncomfortably into the bed beneath him. He shivers at the mention of his legs being tied to the bed, a combination of nervousness and anticipation.
One day, he hopes she does that exact thing. Stretching him out across their bed, putting him on full display for her pleasure. The idea is rather enticing. But for now heās thrilled with how things are going. Loki canāt help but wiggle his ass at her, a smile on his face with his head tilted to the side to try and see her. āOh darling, you can fuck me anytime you want.ā
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Stroking her hands over his flesh, Natasha purrs out her approval when Loki flips over. "Then we will see what I end up torturing you with this morning." Her fingers pause at the dip behind his knees. She runs smooth digits against the sensitive skin there, bowing so that she can lick along the aperture with a smile. Loki will feel nothing until her tongue meets the small of his back. She traces his spine, every curve, and knot with her tongue, coating it with layers of saliva. Natasha isn't quiet about her enjoyment either; she's sloppy and loud with moans and soft whimpers.
Girding herself, she stops before touching the back of his neck. There, she sits up and goes to his ankles. She has simple bindings that hook to the bed and wrap around them. Delicate kisses are placed on each ankle bone before it's shackled. "There, comfortable; pull on it and make sure there's no real pain." She wants him to be able to tug at them without real pain, only enough so that he knows he's bound. When he is settled exactly right, Nat moves to his hands and begins the work of a beautiful bit of ribbon work. It's simple in comparison to what she could do, but it suits her need and makes him feel the tightness of being bound, safe.
"Fuck you are so beautiful like this. I want to do everything to you."
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All conscious thought leaves him as he begins to feel the gentle and teasing touch of her fingers and then the not so subtle use of her tongue. He canāt help but squirm and moan as she works her tongue all over his spine.
His mind is blank when he suddenly feels the bindings around his ankles. Heās never let anyone do this to him before and itās even more of a turn on than he expected. Though some of that might be due to how attracted he is to Natasha. He shivers as he tugs at the bindings and finds he really canāt move very much. āThey are perfect.ā
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Licking over her lips, she does it again and then moves across the room to get a few things. He can hear her rummaging about. She comes back with several toys. It's been a long time since she's been with a man who enjoys anal penetration. She likes it and has some things to play with, but only one toy is for a man. She'll have to remedy that soon. Already she has plans for a harness for herself so she can fuck him sometime soon, as they talked about. This will be close enough for now.
Reaching between his legs, Nat runs her thumb across his entrance and watches how it puckers for her, dimpling in and out. "Fuck, you are so hot like this, all spread out. I think you're going to enjoy this." Her heart speeds up, and her stomach twists to let her know precisely how worked up she is over it all. Natasha takes a small silver training wand and lubes it up. She's not cruel. "Let's see how this is to start with."
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The sudden smack to his ass causes him to gasp and moan. He nods fervently, still a little stunned at just how much he does like it. If he hadnāt already been hard, he is now. His hips grind against the bed as she smacks him again. His cheeks heat up and he presses his face into the cool sheets beneath him. Heās not exactly embarrassed, though the feeling he has is quite akin to that.
He canāt stop the whine that escapes his throat as he hears her move away. Itās slightly stifled as heās still face down, but itās still rather audible. She might only be gone for a few seconds, but itās a few seconds too long.
Another muffled gasp escapes him as he feels her thumb press against his hole. He turns his head back to the side, panting for air. It has been a long time since heās let someone do any of this and he has missed it more than he anticipated. Of course, itās made all the better by the fact that itās Natasha doing it for him. He can only sort of see what she's preparing, but he doesnāt really care. Whatever it is, heās sure sheās right. Heās going to enjoy everything she does to him.
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It takes a few seconds, really, and with him neatly spread and open for her, she leans in and licks across his hole. It was far too much a temptation to keep away. Natasha is a highly oral person. She loves to taste and touch every part of her lover. That includes lavishing Loki's entrance with several long, sloppy licks. She adds extra saliva each time, getting him sopping wet before she drills her tongue into the tight muscles that push back against the forced intrusion. She knows the nerves there are incredibly sensitive, and despite the argument of his body, there should be pleasure if she plays her role to perfection. "Fuck, you taste so damn good."
Lapping and licking up and around his dancing hole, she moans softly. Unable to keep herself from it, Natasha pushes a finger up to her knuckle. It's tight, and she knows that her saliva is hardly lubed enough, but she wants him to feel how wound up she is. She dips the finger back into her pussy and then brings it up to slide inside him. Her wetness is a lovely lubricant for his body. It moves past the knuckle and twists as she moves to make room inside him for what more will eventually come. "Feel that, that's me, that's how wet you make me doing this. My wetness inside you."
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The whole scene is everything he couldāve hoped for, everything heās ever wanted and never trusted anyone enough to do for him. Not until now, with Natasha at least. Even still, with his ass now elevated and the way heās spread with his limbs all restrained, he canāt help but feel exposed. And oh, what a delicious feeling it is.
For some reason, despite how heās currently positioned, he did not expect the feel of her warm, wet tongue at his hole. He gasps and the sound quickly turns into a moan as he already begins to struggle against his restraints. He has a little room to move, but not much and the feeling of helplessness as he realizes sheās in full control only heightens his pleasure.
Then her tongue penetrates him and his eyes fly open as he pushes back against the intrusion as best he can. Itās been a very long time since heās even considered doing anything like this and it is so much better than he ever couldāve anticipated. āOh gods, Natasha, fuck.ā He knows he already sounds a bit desperate, and normally, maybe heād been a little embarrassed by that, but not this time. Not now. Not with her.
With only her saliva, itās a little dry and thereās the smallest bit of pain, but itās a perfect pain, one Loki likes maybe a little too much. Heās too distracted by that thought to really realize at first that when she tries again, her finger is much more slick. He shivers and moans again as she tells him exactly what sheās done and his hips buck of their own volition. His cock is hard and leaking where itās pressed between his abdomen and the pillow.
āGood thing I am yours to do with as you please then,ā he manages to gasp out as he continues to try and press back into her finger, wanting to feel more and deeper.
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There's something deeply personal about the way Loki lets her in, and allows her this much intimacy. She could get off by merely squeezing her thighs together tightly over and over. Hell, she might have an orgasm without truly being touched. Her body is thrumming with pleasure. "Fuck, love. I feel like we were meant to share each other like this, and every other way. You make me wish I had the right equipment to fuck you for real."
Natasha leans in and takes a moment to suck up a dark mark along the globe of his ass. It's beautiful because it's hers. It doesn't matter that it disappears. She knows where she's been, and where her finger is. Twisting it around, she continues to fuck him with it for a little while, and then pulls it out and dips both fingers inside herself. Who needs a bottle of lube when her body works perfectly well for this part. He doesn't need to be opened up by any training dildo as of yet. She could use her own, but this is so much more intimate, and she gets to feel inside him.
"Thats me again, more for you. I'm so wet, and my body is so tight, that I could probably get off just squeezing my legs together and thinking about what I'm doing to you. Fuck, you feel that. I want to be fucking you, each time I stick my fingers in, that's my cock, fuck, you're going to have my cock soon. I know you can't wait."
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